What to do, according to psychologists, if your husband does not give a divorce

It happens that two completely different people get married. Later it turns out that the spouses have no common interests and completely different views on life. There are other reasons when living together becomes unbearable. My husband drinks constantly and engages in assault. The children are frightened by his behavior. Or he cheats on his wife with another woman, often does not spend the night at home.

No measures of influence help. The only solution is divorce. It may happen that the spouse does not want to give it. What to do if the husband does not give a divorce?

When is it impossible to get approval for divorce?

The Family Code defines restrictions only for the stronger half. This is due to the fact that the main document describing the legal side of family relationships always stands up for the protection of motherhood and childhood. Many articles protect the interests, first of all, of children, as the most vulnerable participants in any social and economic issues.

Therefore, until certain circumstances occur, according to Article 17 of the RF IC, the court will refuse to divorce the husband:

• if his wife is pregnant - until she gives birth and the child is 12 months old;
• if the common child is under one year old - until this age is reached;
• if there is a case of stillbirth in the family, or the baby does not live to be one year old, the husband will still have to wait a year from the date of birth of the child.

What to do in this case? There are two options:

• wait for the specified age of the common child to arrive;
• convince the wife to initiate a divorce. To convince, without using threats and blackmail. A woman who decides to divorce while pregnant or with a baby in her arms will receive a positive court decision. There are no restrictions on divorce for mothers. However, if she is against it, there are no ways for spouses to end family relationships during this period.

We follow the advice of a psychologist

You can try to get your husband's consent in different ways. A woman must be wise. If the spouse is friendly, has a positive attitude towards his wife and children, and understands the situation, then you can start a sincere conversation. Discuss the problem together, present compelling arguments, and convince your husband. Say that you have fallen out of love with your spouse. You should inform about your plans for your future life. Try to discuss together who will live and where after the divorce. Who is registered in the apartment, how it will be divided. You may have general loans or borrowings. How to be in this case?

The husband, despite all the arguments, does not want to leave the family. He is happy with this life. He does not want to listen to any of his wife’s beliefs. You should consider what to do in this case, according to psychologists.

Some experts recommend that a woman show her bad side. Not fulfilling your duties around the house, returning home late, ignoring your husband in every possible way, etc.

The spouse is unlikely to tolerate such behavior; he will be forced to give his consent to the divorce.

Where to go if your spouse won’t give you a divorce?

If there are no common children, but the husband refuses to go to the registry office, the wife can appeal to the magistrate’s court at the husband’s place of registration. Less often, in exceptional cases, such cases are considered by the court at the plaintiff’s place of residence. Such cases include:

1. presence of small children;
2. presence of serious illness or disability.

The claim must mention this and include evidence.

The magistrate's court, simultaneously with the petition for divorce, may consider the following issues:

• who the children will live with;
• assign alimony;
• what surname the wife will keep after the divorce;
• will exclude property from the composition of joint property;
• will distribute property according to the law if the value of the claim is less than 50 thousand rubles.

Important : the value of the claim is determined by the value of the part of the property claimed by the plaintiff.

Download a sample statement of claim

With one child.

With two or more children.

Divorce according to Islam

If your husband professes the Islamic religion and you live in an Islamic state, then the divorce situation is somewhat different. Here the right to divorce belongs only to the man. But the woman firmly decided to get a divorce. She will have to try to persuade her husband or give him a dowry. So she can get a divorce in return.

The spouse can express his disagreement. According to Islam, you can go to a Sharia court. They will consider your complaint and try to come to an agreement with the man. If he again does not consent, the Sharia court gives the woman a divorce.

After a certain period of time, you can remarry.

What difficulties arise when one of the spouses is against divorce?

What should a wife who has filed for divorce without the consent of the other party prepare for:

1. duration of the process. A spouse who ignores the offer to visit the registry office and get a pre-trial divorce may, with the same stubbornness, not go to court hearings. In this case, consideration of the issue of divorce is postponed for a period established by law (up to 1 month). Only the third time is it possible to obtain a positive court decision without the participation of the second spouse;
   

   In total, from the moment of filing the statement of claim until the receipt of the divorce certificate, a minimum of 3 months can pass (if both appeared at the first hearing and the claim was satisfied), and on average 6-7 months. This period includes the appointment of the first meeting, several adjournments, the entry into force of the court decision and, finally, a month for the preparation of the final paper in the registry office. The husband can file an appeal, but then the matter will drag on;

2. The law provides for the possibility of setting a period for reconciliation. If there are no specific compelling reasons for divorce, when one of the spouses is against it, the chance of getting a reconciliation period is high. Valid reasons include the defendant’s antisocial lifestyle or questionable capacity (for example, a psychiatric diagnosis);
3. financial investments. Even if the spouses do not have common material assets, and the claim is filed on a non-property basis, the wife, whose husband is against it, will have to pay a state fee. First for the divorce, and then for issuing a certificate at the registry office. Legal costs can be returned, but later;
4. Inappropriate reaction of the husband to filing a claim. A spouse who suddenly receives a subpoena may behave unpredictably. If the husband threatens or blackmails, these cases must be recorded and must be reported to the judge. This will be an additional argument in favor of quickly satisfying the claim.

My husband doesn’t want to get a divorce: how long will I have to wait?

It often happens that a man intimidates a woman who dares to ask for a divorce. Threats of physical harm should be a signal to immediately leave. Especially if the husband has raised his hand against the woman or children before. Upon learning that his wife has filed a statement (and the summons will arrive in ten days), an angry man may behave inappropriately.

It’s good if you have somewhere to go, especially with children. It's good to have someone to protect. Parents, friends - you need to use any option to get rid of the presence of your former life partner. Sometimes it is enough to give a verbal or physical rebuff to a scoundrel so that he stops behaving too aggressively.

Sometimes a man who does not want a divorce takes advantage of a young woman’s legal ignorance and threatens to take her children away. This is complete nonsense! Even if a woman is on maternity leave and does not work, the court will leave the children with her, and will exact alimony from the husband for the maintenance of not only the minors, but also their mother.

The presence of small children is not an obstacle to divorce if it is initiated by a woman. Article 17 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation imposes a ban on divorce if there is a child under one year old, or if it is established that the wife is pregnant at the time of registration of documents, only if the man wants a divorce. A woman who has a baby under one year old or is pregnant can get a divorce - she has every right to do so.

Remember: all rights are on the woman’s side. You just need to gain strength, courage, patience and just get through this difficult time. And you won't have to wait too long. The divorce procedure is regulated by Articles 25 and 28 of the Civil Code of the Russian Federation. The court will make a decision on divorce no later than two months from the date of registration of the application. This is guaranteed by Article 154 of the Civil Code of the Russian Federation. All women who are afraid of threats and cannot decide to divorce would do well to familiarize themselves with these laws. Very inspiring and helps you feel more confident.

A frightened woman may not tell her husband that she has filed an application and may hide the summons. This is not entirely legal, but the situation can be critical.

Recommendations from psychologists: behavioral tactics

In such difficult situations as divorce without the consent of the second spouse, it is important:

• keep calm . Remember that tantrums, blackmail and manipulation are not the best way to solve family problems. Inappropriate behavior on the part of the plaintiff may delay the process. Be prepared that the divorce will take a long time;
• try to make contact . Conducting a constructive dialogue is a real chance to correct the situation. If the judge has given time for reconciliation, take advantage of it. Try to talk with your spouse, put all the dots in place, and regulate the relationship. It may even be possible to save the family if it turns out that the reason for divorce is insignificant and can be easily eliminated. If this is truly impossible, the spouses have a chance not to delay the process and remain in normal relations after the divorce. This is especially important if there are small children in the family. The separation of parents is a difficult test for them;
• collect evidence . This will be useful both in the dialogue between spouses and when choosing tactics in court. Each meeting is not just following the rules and regulations of the law, it is a duel. The more actively the plaintiff proves his position, the faster the trial will end in his favor.

Divorce with children

If there are minor children growing up in the family, and the husband does not agree with the divorce and the place of determination of the children, the hearings are held by the district court.

Issues considered in this instance:

• Determination of place of residence.
• Definition of legal representative.
• Participation of the parent in the upbringing and provision of the child.

There is a general rule according to which a divorce through a district court is considered at the place of residence of the defendant. This principle can significantly complicate the process of divorce if the spouse lives in another region or even in another state. If the plaintiff has minor dependents in the family, the law allows the claim to be accepted at the place of residence of the mother and children.

The court pays special attention to the compliance of the written statement with the established format. In standard situations, you can cope with the compilation yourself by studying existing samples and forms. In more complex cases, it is impossible to do without the intervention of a lawyer to build a competent argument with references to the law.

Download a sample claim for divorce through court (15.5 KiB, 499 hits)

The main requirements for the content of the claim include the following points::

1. Start date of marriage.
2. The grounds that prompted the dissolution of the marriage.
3. Presence/absence of children under 18 years of age.
4. Has the place of further residence of the children, the procedure for participation and financial support after separation been determined between the spouses?

If agreement on the definition of children is not reached, the plaintiff asks the court to resolve the dispute on this issue, taking into account the position of the plaintiff and the grounds presented.

As attachments to the claim, you should prepare:

• a second copy of the application (for the second party of the defendant);
• copies of personal documents of the plaintiff’s family (passport, birth certificate);
• documents confirming the wife’s position in relation to the stated requirements (certificates from the place of residence, from the employer, agreements, documents on earnings, on living conditions in the family).

The law does not establish time limits for consideration and decision-making regarding divorce if one of the parties disagrees. Much depends on the identified claims, the nature of the disputes, and the positions of both parties.

Divorce in the presence of minor dependents cannot last less than 1 month. It takes another 1 month for the court order to come into effect. During which the dissenting party has the right to appeal the verdict.

If the judge takes into account the testimony of the husband, who declares disagreement with the separation and intention to reconcile, an additional 1-3 months are assigned, during which the spouses must finally decide on their intentions.

Often, if there is a child, it is disputes regarding the definition of children that serve as a reason for delaying the process. The court hears the arguments of each party, determining the optimal conditions for the child. If we are talking about children over 10 years old, their wishes will be taken into account. In some cases, a professional examination by a psychologist is appointed to identify the degree of attachment of the child and his true needs.

To recreate a full picture of the conditions that each of the opposing parties can provide, employees of the guardianship department are involved. They conduct housing inspections to determine compliance with accepted living standards.

Procedure for divorce

The algorithm is simple:

• filing a claim. It indicates the details of the plaintiff, defendant and the judicial authority, sets out the circumstances of the case (including arguments in favor of divorce), attaches the evidence base and lists the requirements;

Important: the judge can make a decision on the division of claims: for example, assign alimony immediately, and consider the issue of divorce in the usual manner.

• waiting for the review date. The plaintiff will be notified about it by mail or SMS, the defendant - by mail;
• consideration of the case. At the first meeting, even in the absence of the defendant, the plaintiff must describe the situation in as much detail as possible and provide arguments in his defense;
• then it is possible to postpone the case, set a time limit for reconciliation, or have a positive court decision;
• The decision is issued in hand a month later, when it comes into force. With him - the road to the registry office to issue a divorce certificate.

If there are no common children

The easiest way to solve the problem of legal dissolution is if both spouses who do not have children have come to the same conclusion that the marriage has outlived its usefulness and further attempts to build a life together are useless. In this case, if there are no children, both partners go to the registry office and submit an application of the appropriate form.

In other situations, a statement of claim is prepared justifying the reasons for the divorce and including in the text language about the firmness of the decision and the impossibility of refusal. Claims that indicate that the wife does not want reconciliation and does not need additional time to think about it are processed more quickly. Over the next few days, the judge will consider the petition and schedule a hearing, having previously notified both parties to the process with a summons.

If there are disputes regarding property (and often it is the reluctance of division that forces one of the partners to refuse a divorce), a lawsuit is prepared to formalize the division of property. If the husband ignores the summons, an additional meeting may be scheduled. However, there is a possibility that the absence of compelling reasons for failure to appear will lead to the consideration of the case without the other party. According to procedural rules, court hearings can be rescheduled no more than 3 times.

After submitting an application (the form can be found at the stands of the magistrate’s court or in the district court building), 1 month is given, after which a hearing is scheduled and a verdict is rendered.

In difficult situations, it is recommended to involve a lawyer who can clearly and competently explain to the court the position of the plaintiff.

After the decision is made, both parties have the right to challenge the decision within a month. It is possible that if the husband is against it, he will try to challenge the decision in a higher court.

Upon reaching a positive decision, the ex-wife applies to the registry office and, after paying a fee, receives a new certificate of divorce, having previously submitted a marriage registration document.

What documents are submitted with the claim?

• copies of the marriage certificate, personal documents of the plaintiff and children;
• evidence of the spouse’s antisocial behavior, if any;
• evidence of threats and blackmail from the husband;
• when deciding on the place of residence of children, it is necessary to provide evidence of good living conditions, availability of living space, and a certificate of income (both the plaintiff and the defendant, if the comparison is in favor of the first). The court takes into account the opinions of children over 10 years of age. The testimony of teachers or educators, friends and relatives, and the response of the guardianship authorities will help resolve the issue;
• To divide property, you will definitely need evidence that it was purchased during marriage, with family money, and its value.

Further actions

Upon divorce, the former spouses are given an extract from the court order. With this extract, you should visit the registry office. Based on this certificate, the institution’s employees will make appropriate changes to the registration book.

If a woman wants to shorten the duration of the divorce process, during the first court hearing she should provide convincing evidence that further life with this man is no longer possible. It is allowed to involve witnesses, experts, etc. in the consideration of the case, and provide relevant documentation.

Attention! If a husband, in an attempt to save the marriage, resorts to moral pressure on his wife, threatens her, or uses physical violence, then she needs to turn to specialists - lawyers, law enforcement agencies, guardianship authorities. Outside help is especially necessary in a situation where a man poses a danger to his children.

State duty amount

How to get a divorce through the registry office without the consent of your wife

According to Art. 19 of the RF IC, a wife and husband without children under 18 years of age, with mutual consent, can file a divorce at the registry office. If mutual agreement is not reached, there are children or disputes about property, then the registry office employee will not accept the application for divorce. Without the consent of the wife, you can get a divorce through the registry office only in exceptional cases:

• the woman was declared legally incompetent by a court decision;
• the spouse has gone missing, for which there is a court order;
• the wife is serving a sentence for committing a crime (a term of imprisonment of more than 3 years).

The wife's consent in the above exceptions is not required, either with or without minor children. A living, law-abiding wife who has no mental disorders cannot be unilaterally divorced through the registry office.

Drawing up a statement of claim

In order for a divorce application to be considered in court, it is necessary to draw up the document correctly without any errors.
The case is considered within 2 months from the date of filing the claim. The document preparation consists of two parts. In its formal form, the application must contain the following details:

• name and address details of the magistrate's court;
• personal data of the plaintiff and defendant (last name, first name, patronymic, place of residence);
• complete information about the trustee (address and personal data);
• description of the situation;
• handwritten signature and date of completion of the document;
• list of attached documents.

The descriptive part must indicate the reasons for the divorce:

• time and place of marriage;
• marriage certificate number;
• the exact date of end of cohabitation;
• a detailed description of the number of joint children under the age of 18;
• actual place of registration of children and their further residence with one of the parents;
• description of the reasons for the divorce;
• indicating the desired surname after obtaining a divorce;
• information on the collection of alimony and the division of common property.

Important! The document should not contain unnecessary information and it should indicate information about the disagreement of one of the parties to divorce!

When drawing up a document, it is necessary to indicate the legal norms of legislation on the basis of which the procedure can be carried out:

• divorce without the consent of one party in accordance with Article 22 of the ICRF;
• collection of alimony obligations in Articles 80, 81, 83;
• Articles 34, 38, 39 on the division of jointly acquired property.

When describing the requirements section, you must provide the following information:

• obtaining a divorce between spouses and excluding the possibility of cohabitation;
• receiving alimony in a certain amount or as a percentage of the defendant’s salary;
• description of proposals for the division of common property.

A list of documents must be attached to the completed application:

• a copy of the filed claim;
• original and copy of the marriage document;
• the applicant's identity card (copy of passport);
• copies of passports and birth documents of common children;
• availability of a receipt for payment of the duty assigned by the state;
• document on the spouse’s income to confirm the collection of alimony;
• a complete inventory of common property;
• a number of other documents (certificates of health or incapacity of the spouse).

Consequences of avoiding attendance in court

All participants are notified by written summons that a trial has been scheduled.
Sending occurs in such a way as to confirm receipt of the document by the addressee. After receiving a summons, a woman who cannot be present in court for objective reasons is obliged to provide the reasons for her absence and ask to extend the time frame for resolving the conflict. If a hearing is missed once and there is no explanation, the judge is authorized to reschedule the hearing of the case. After the third absence, the court makes a decision in absentia. Ignoring the summons is regarded as consent to the declared divorce.

The wife has only one week to appeal the decision.

See also:

• Absentee divorce in court
• Restoration of marriage in case of spouse's appearance

Position of the law

The principles of termination of a contract are regulated by a group of normative acts - the RF IC (Article 22), the Civil Procedure Code of the Russian Federation and Federal Law No. 143. When divorcing through the registry office, it is necessary to focus on the position of Federal law. If one of the parties goes to court, it is necessary to take into account the norms of the Civil Procedure Code.

According to the laws of the Russian Federation, a couple has the right to divorce on three grounds:

1. Both spouses agree to divorce. The husband and wife submit an application to the registry office, and on its basis the couple is divorced.
2. Desire only for husband or wife. As in the previous case, the couple is divorced through the registry office, but subject to certain conditions (more on them below).
3. Judicial decision. The measure is used in cases where other options are not suitable.

With that said, it is clear that it is possible to divorce your spouse without his consent, but each case must be approached individually.

Divorce through the registry office without the consent of the husband is possible in the following circumstances:

1. The husband went to prison for a term of over three years under the Criminal Code of the Russian Federation.
2. The man lost his legal capacity, and this fact was confirmed by a court decision.
3. The husband was declared missing by the judiciary.

In other cases, you can divorce your husband without his consent through the court. A man has no right to interfere with his wife's wishes. The only thing he can do is delay the process as much as possible.

Results

Regardless of the circumstances, a woman can divorce her husband without his consent. The algorithm of actions depends on the current situation. For example, if the husband is in prison, incapacitated or considered missing, you can contact the registry office. In other cases, you need to go to court, but here it is important to fill out the application correctly and collect all the documents.

If difficulties arise, you should seek help from lawyers or, at a minimum, get their free consultation right away.