Divorce is the official dissolution of a marriage by the relevant authorities. It’s not enough to just stop living together, stop running a joint household, and divide the children between each other. Both when registering a marriage, it is necessary to draw up special documents, and during a divorce, it is necessary to go through a certain algorithm of actions in order to cease to be spouses under the law.
My wife filed for divorce, what should my husband do?
According to statistics, in 80% of 100% of cases, women file for divorce. Often men know about their spouse’s decision and simply wait for notification. But, there are situations when husbands do not even suspect that their wives are making a unilateral decision not to be in a marital relationship. This is what the husband’s actions during a divorce depend on when the wife has filed for divorce.
Situation one - the man was ready for divorce
After receiving notice of divorce, you must carefully study the document that is attached to the summons - the claim. In it, the plaintiff (respectively, the wife or lawyer, in her words) describes in detail the reason why cohabitation should be terminated. If the partner agrees with the arguments and is not against the dissolution of the marriage, all that is required of him is to appear on time at the meeting and confirm the breakup of the relationship. If a man does not agree with what his wife wrote, he needs to prepare for the case by collecting the necessary evidence and be ready to defend his position in court hearings.
Situation two - the man was not ready for divorce
Life can be different, and if a stunned man receives a summons to court, not knowing what to do, he needs to seek help from a family lawyer. Under no circumstances should you run to your wife to sort things out, as such actions will work against the defendant. If you want to save the relationship, it is better to pay for the services of a lawyer who will accompany the man during all court hearings and gain time for reconciliation, or help force the couple to be sent to a family psychologist in order to try to save the relationship.
Possibility of reconciliation under the law
According to Article 22 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation, the judge has the right to give the spouses a period for reconciliation if someone is against the divorce. The period can be determined from 30 to 90 days, depending on the situation. If a lawyer is present with the man, he will be able to persuade the judge to grant the maximum period for reconciliation. He will justify the position of the principal, and also counter with the arguments of the wife who filed for divorce. It should be noted that the opportunity for reconciliation is given once.
If you need to postpone the divorce case again, you can go on sick leave and send a copy of the sick leave to the court with a request to postpone the hearing. In this way, it will be possible to postpone the case for another month, in addition, you can always file an appeal without paying the state fee. The judge will adjourn the case until the fee is paid. A period of up to several weeks is given for payment. But if there is an opportunity to save the marriage during this time, why not take advantage of such an opportunity? At the same time, you need to understand that you cannot simply not appear in court, since in this case the divorce will be carried out unilaterally.
Reasons for divorce without filing an application to court
Spouses can divorce without going to court, through the registry office. As already mentioned, this is only possible if three conditions are met:
- The spouses mutually demand a divorce.
- The spouses mutually divided the property.
- The spouses have no minor children.
In all other cases, the divorce process goes through the court.
The court will not divorce spouses if the woman is pregnant or the child is under one year of age. But, if a man is not sure of paternity, he has the right to request a genetic test. This is especially important when assigning alimony.
The wife filed for divorce - the couple has children together
You need to know that if spouses have minor children, then divorce is possible only through the court. Often, it is precisely because of the presence of children that the court may give a couple a period of time for reconciliation. This is done in order to give the spouses the opportunity to think carefully about maintaining the relationship, since in this case the children will remain living in a complete family. All issues regarding children must be resolved in court so that no problems arise in the future and no one can manipulate children.
Who will the children live with?
In most cases, children remain to live with their mother. The spouse, when filing a claim, must indicate this point and the judges listen to women, since it is believed that children will be better off with mothers. If the husband is against it and wants the children to live with him, he needs to collect a huge amount of evidence so that the truth is on his side.
The court will allow the children to live with their father only if the mother suffers from alcohol or drug addiction and this is confirmed by relevant certificates, witnesses and other materials. Perhaps the woman leads an immoral lifestyle, and the father does not want the children to see this, then evidence also needs to be collected. Video, audio or photographic materials, decisions of judicial or other law enforcement authorities can be used as evidence.
Situations in which children are left to live with their fathers are not uncommon today. At the same time, not every lawyer will be able to achieve this in court, not to mention the independent actions of the child’s father. If it is necessary to determine the place of residence of a child with his father, we advise you to contact an experienced family lawyer.
If a woman leads a normal life, it will be difficult for a man to take the children to live with him. It is necessary to prove that the woman will not be able to give the children due attention and care for them, for example, she has a 24-hour job or constant business trips.
If a man’s desire for the children to live with him is only selfish or he wants to “annoy” his ex-wife, the court will reject his request. Therefore, instead of plotting, it is best to agree directly in court on who and how will see the child and take part in his upbringing. A peaceful solution to the issue of communication with children is the best way out of a situation where a wife has filed for divorce. If the children remain with their mother after a divorce, the father has the right to raise and support them, and this is an additional opportunity to contact his ex-wife. And as a result, the opportunity to restore the relationship after some time.
Child support
By law, the party who does not live with the child is required to pay monthly child support. Their amount today is 25% of the official income for one child, or 33% if there are two children and 50% if there are more than two.
In addition, a woman filing for divorce has the right to indicate in the statement of claim the required amount of alimony that she wishes to receive monthly. If a man does not have a regular income and a woman wants to protect her children from lack of alimony, then alimony is required in a fixed amount. In addition, if children are chronically ill and need additional treatment, as proven by appropriate certificates, the amount of child support may be increased.
How alimony will be paid is also decided in court. If a man works officially, then alimony can be transferred directly from his work to the woman’s account. They will be written off monthly automatically on payday. Also, a man can independently transfer alimony on a certain day of the month.
In addition to official alimony, a man can additionally help his children by buying them clothes, food, paying for classes and recreation, and also simply giving them pocket money. Lawyers recommend saving receipts whenever possible, since in their practice there were different situations. When transferring alimony amounts to your ex-wife’s card, be sure to indicate the purpose of the payment “child support.” You can read more about alimony from a special article.
Communication with children after divorce
If the children remain to live with their mother, the father has the right to directly file a counterclaim in court for the opportunity to see the child. This happens in situations when the wife who filed for divorce prohibits him from communicating with the children. At the same time, both parties have the right to request their wishes regarding the procedure for communicating with the child after a divorce. The judge will listen to the views of the parties and determine the best solution regarding communication between children and parents.
And so, in court it is possible to determine how many days a week the father has the right to pick up the children or come to them, and also whether he can take them for rest and vacation. The need for the wife or any other relatives to be present at meetings is also considered. It all depends on the relationship in which the spouses are terminating the marriage and whether they can independently reach a peaceful agreement regarding the children.
When sorting out relationships and dotting the i's, parents must remember that children should not suffer from a divorce. After all, they didn’t choose mom and dad and have the right to have both of them present in their lives. Therefore, it is important not to manipulate children, not to threaten them and not to retort them in any way, but to come to a mutual decision to raise children together, no matter what.
Communication with children
The procedure for communication between a child and a parent who does not live with him is established on a strictly individual basis. In an ideal situation, the mother does not prohibit communication with the child and the father spending weekends with him. However, there are situations when the mother prevents the child from communicating with the father.
What to do in this difficult situation?
In this case, it is better for the father to go to court to defend his right to communicate with the child. The court considers this situation individually and makes an individual decision.
A special schedule must be drawn up, which will spell out:
1. Allow the father to call the child via video and audio in his free time.
2. Give the father the opportunity to pick up the child from school, sections, and individual lessons.
3. Allow the father to spend weekends and holidays with the child.
Wife filed for divorce - division of property
All property acquired during marriage is usually divided in half if the purchase was made with common funds. It should be noted that it is difficult to prove that the wife did not take part in the purchase, even if she does not work.
It is best to divide acquired property during a divorce, and not after it, since there is a statute of limitations and if it expires, then there can be no talk of any division. If only one of the spouses bought the property, you will have to prove it. For example, provide checks with a signature or, in cases where the property was taken out on credit, who took out the loans. If there are any circumstances, the judge may not divide the property in half, but allocate a larger share to someone and, accordingly, a smaller share to someone.
In addition to dividing property acquired during marriage, the judge can also divide jointly acquired debts, if this is, for example, a loan or a loan. If you cannot agree peacefully on the division of property, it is best to seek help from a lawyer who can resolve all issues at the legislative level.
How can you speed up the divorce process?
The procedure for dissolution of a marriage takes place in strict accordance with the law. The time frame allocated for the divorce process cannot be shifted. It happens that at the time of divorce, a husband and wife have not lived together for a long time; some do not know the exact address of their spouse. In a number of situations, relationships are tense to such an extent that people do not want to see each other or show unreasonable aggression towards each other. All this complicates and delays the process of severing official relations.
In order to get a divorce calmly and quickly, the parties are required to come to a compromise that will help keep the process time to a minimum. Once all disputes have been previously settled and a peace agreement has been reached, you can proceed to the stage of collecting documents and submitting them to the appropriate authority - the registry office or court.
A person new to jurisprudence does not always understand how the divorce procedure occurs. Having studied several articles of the Family Code of the Russian Federation, you can arm yourself with knowledge of the most common legal actions that will help protect your rights and interests.
You can get a divorce at the registry office a month from the date of filing the application; in court, a decision to dissolve the marriage can be made at the first hearing, which is usually scheduled a month after the claim is accepted.
To speed up the divorce process as much as possible, you need to prepare all documents in advance and agree on all controversial issues. By reaching mutual agreement to end the marriage and further raise children, the divorce period can be minimized.
Wife filed for divorce - possible difficulties
It is necessary to understand that divorce can lead to various unpleasant situations. That is why, in order to avoid them and turn the matter in your favor, it is best to involve a divorce lawyer in the case. Firstly, he will be able to properly study the claim before the start of the hearing and will know how to behave in court. Secondly, the lawyer will be able to turn the case around so that his client is satisfied as a result. Thirdly, it is with the help of a lawyer that issues of property and communication with children can be easily regulated. Therefore, if you are facing a difficult divorce, it is better not to go to the courtroom alone, but to hire a lawyer.
If your wife has filed for divorce, a lawyer from the Legal Defense Center will help you; you can get advice and help by calling.
Character difference
No matter how trivial it may sound, the reason “they didn’t get along” does not lose its relevance and still remains one of the main reasons for divorce. Most often, psychologists say, this happens because the man and woman were in a hurry to get married. It is important to understand that during the period of falling in love, hormones literally replace rose-colored glasses for partners, and therefore they do not notice the shortcomings of their other half. It ends when the passion begins to fade and the lovers realize that not everything is as wonderful as it seemed before.
How to understand that it’s time to divorce your husband: main signs
Signs that indicate the inevitability of divorce
:
- When you return home from work or a walk, you feel disappointed. It intensifies when it is discovered that the spouse is also at home. You are better off alone, without him. It's time to decide to divorce your husband if you are pleased by his absence from the same territory as you, for example, when he is on a business trip, or in any other absence. The solution is obvious if you feel relief in its absence.
- There are no common topics for conversation. We are not talking about the dizzying feeling that occurs in lovers when it is pleasant to even just be silent. The silence of estranged spouses has a different character, and you understand this. You try to hide behind household chores, surf the Internet, take work home - all this takes priority over communicating with your spouse.
- It's time to decide to divorce your husband if you don't know what's going on in his life and don't have much interest in it. The spouse shared with you all the details of the work, now you know about them in passing. He doesn't start a conversation, and you're okay with that.
- Sex is a rare guest in your marriage. In the first months of marriage, almost every conflict ended with a kiss and intimacy. Now such a development of events is impossible - resentment and misunderstanding are stronger than desire. Now the bed remains primarily a place to sleep. Or you started sleeping separately (this point in itself is not scary if there are no other “symptoms” that it’s time to decide to divorce your husband).
- One of the parties is having an affair. If this happens, you must immediately decide to divorce your husband. Do not justify the continued existence of marriage by children, long years of marriage, or familiar life. Relationships have become artificial, fragile, humiliating. Couples who delay divorce when cheating usually inevitably break up, regretting the lost time.
- Coarseness. If there is physical violence, you need to leave immediately, without hesitation. Psychological and financial violence is also difficult to bear. Does your husband insult your appearance and intellectual capabilities? It is impossible to be happy at the same time. Financial violence can include the demand for a detailed report if you bought bread for 2 rubles more than usual, and other absurd situations related to finances that cause you anxiety.
- No time for jokes. Even the most serious relationships will quickly become boring if there is no healthy humor in them. You are annoyed by your husband's jokes, he ignores yours, or you have stopped joking altogether - your marriage is in danger.
Your identity
Everyone is different, and therefore everyone needs their own time to get over a divorce. If you are a strong personality, if you are a fighter, if you adapt well to change, you will be able to get through divorce much faster. On the other hand, if you are used to being submissive to your spouse, staying silent and not expressing what bothers you or needs, or if you do not adapt well to rapid change, you will have a much harder time going through a divorce. If you have the second personality type, consulting a psychologist will help you become stronger and more resilient.
