The summer season begins and it's time for vacations. And not always grown-up children can and want to go to kindergarten or travel with their parents. This means that caring mothers and fathers will have to leave their offspring alone in the apartment for the first time for several days or even a couple of weeks.
And, of course, every parent wants to believe that when he returns, the child will be alive and well, and the apartment will be safe and sound.
At what age can you leave a child alone?
There is no law in Russia that would clearly answer this question. Lawyers are of the opinion that a child can be alone at home from the age of 14, when partial responsibility for his actions begins, while the duration of “loneliness” is not specified in any way. If, in general, everything is fine in the family and during your absence the child is not injured and does not commit any offenses, it is very unlikely that the guardianship will accuse you of improperly fulfilling the duties of maintaining and raising a minor.
According to many (I interviewed friends, I don’t claim statistical reliability), by the age of 15–16 a person is already quite ready to experience a short parental vacation alone.
Attention! You should not leave an older teenager alone during difficult periods in life : the loss of a loved one, unhappy love, a serious quarrel with classmates, preparing for exams.
After all, in such moments, any person needs support, even those aged 18+.
When can children rent their own accommodation?
Children who are 15-16 years old can go to study in another city and start renting housing there on their own. This is a completely legal right of a citizen. But in this case, it is imperative to observe all the subtleties and nuances that are associated with concluding a lease agreement. If the tenant is a child, the owner must contact the guardianship authorities and sign a rental agreement there. Such a document can be issued for 5 years. If the document is drawn up for more than a year, then it will have to be registered with government agencies. This is required by law.
But now children are registered together with their parents, who are also cohabitants. Any financial relationship with children must also be formalized with the permission of parents or guardians, and also receive the approval of the guardianship authorities. Today, there are many cases where children have been deceived, so the guardianship authorities keep such situations under control.
Safety first
Talk with your child about what to do and where to call in an emergency: fire, burst pipe, drunk neighbor breaking the door, etc. Attach in a visible place the telephone numbers of all services (in addition to fire and ambulance, write your management company there).
Make sure your teen knows to check the apartment before each time they leave home and before going to bed. If in doubt, make a note and hang it on the inside of the front door: “Turn off the lights, close the windows, pour fresh water for the cat.”
Teenagers often have a desire to check the validity of the rules established by adults, so for the first time it is better to explain in detail that your requirements are not a whim, but a vital necessity.
For example: “The windows need to be closed, because a sudden thunderstorm could break the glass” or “Thieves broke into our friend’s apartment through an open window.”
Leave the child the necessary amount of cash; it is better to put all other valuables in an inaccessible place. Give someone close to you a spare set of apartment keys (in case the child loses his or the door accidentally slams shut).
Remember to parents! Mini-memo of the most basic things
A child’s readiness for independence is the result of parental upbringing. Don’t be afraid to teach your children to do everything themselves, even if it doesn’t always work out. None of us are immune from sudden changes in life.
Every child should know:
- Your address.
- Phone numbers and full names of your parents.
- Unified rescue number 112.
When leaving your child alone at home, make sure that:
- There is food and water.
- The apartment is safe (everything fragile, sharp, poisonous has been removed).
- The child may contact you.
- The child has something to do.
- The child is not afraid to be left at home alone.
Remember that independence cannot be taught, it can only be given. And this invaluable experience will allow your children to grow up more harmonious and self-sufficient than parental fears and overprotection. Teach them the rules of safe behavior and then you will leave them with peace of mind.
Find a companion in the city
It is optimal if grandparents or other relatives whom you completely trust live nearby with the child. But it is important to clearly discuss with both adults and the teenager himself how control will be organized. Maybe your sister thinks that “keeping an eye on your 14-year-old nephew” means stopping by a couple of times to make sure the child is healthy and happy, and you assume that she will check every day that he gets to school and returned home and came running in the evenings with a hot dinner. Or, on the contrary, the grandmother will decide to show unnecessary activity and begin to terrorize the 17-year-old child with calls, although you yourself have not checked for a long time what the child has eaten and whether he is wearing a hat.
Remember that you won't always be connected when you travel. Therefore, ask your child to check with you that his phone contains the contacts of two or three close people to whom he can turn with questions or for help at any time. Warn them of your absence. But for everyone else, it’s better not to know that your child is left alone in the city.
For parental peace of mind
No matter how hard we try to teach children the rules of safe behavior, their activity can still lead to undesirable consequences, and no one is immune from an accident. The good news is that in the twenty-first century there are many ways to keep children safe at home:
- Special locks on windows and cabinets with “non-children’s” items.
- Smoke, gas sensors, etc.
- Video surveillance systems.
- Mobile phones and special applications for them, for example, “Where are my children,” will allow you to listen to the sound around you, quickly contact your child, even if he cannot hear the phone, and help him in difficult times. And in the Pingo app you will find a bunch of interesting tasks that will keep your child occupied while he is away.
- A GPS watch that allows you to track your location and also listen to what is happening around your child.
Don’t forget that only you can ensure a safe environment for your children:
- Hide knives, medicines, matches, alcohol, chemicals away.
- Make sure the windows are secure.
- Make sure that in case of danger the child can open the doors himself.
- Check the charge level on your phone.
And so that your child, left alone, does not get stuck in front of the screen for a long time, install the newest Kids360 application from the creators of “Where are my children.” The service has wide functionality and will help protect your child from unwanted content, as well as limit his time spent online.
Agree how you will keep in touch
The more precisely you express your requirements to your child, the calmer you will be during your departure. It is optimal to set a specific time for communication that is convenient for everyone. Let's say that every day before eight in the evening a child should write to you that he is at home and everything is fine.
You shouldn’t demand that a teenager be on call 24/7 - this is an unrealistic burden (he can be in class, play football, take a shower, sleep, in the end). Still, it would be reasonable to ask your child to give up the habit of constantly keeping the phone on silent during your departure.
Do not torment your child with daily lengthy questions via Skype about all the details of life and everyday life. Very soon it will be easier for your child not to “hear” your calls. Of course, you can and should communicate from time to time, but for pleasure, not as an obligation. Be sensitive to your mood: your child’s intonations will tell you much more than “biased interrogation.”
First job and move
We got a job as administrators in a quest room: this is such a popular type of entertainment in which players are locked in a room from which they must escape within a certain time by finding objects and solving puzzles.
By a lucky coincidence, the establishment needed exactly 2 administrators with schedules that completely coincided.
The salary was small: about 100 rubles per hour, you had to work 8 hours a day. But for two teenagers (16 and 17 years old) it seemed like quite a lot of money. It seemed that everything would soon get better, and in a month we would be able to rent a house.
Unfortunately, we did not take into account daily expenses:
- Road. The parents' apartment was located in the Moscow region. The price tag for daily travel to work and back was 400 rubles.
- All kinds of snacks and sweets (alas, healthy lifestyle is not our thing) - about 200 rubles a day.
- Food – 200 rubles per day for two. This is approximately one beef doshirak, drinking yogurt and a cheap roll.
As a result, instead of 1600, we could save only 800 per day, the planned moving date was pushed further and further away.
I realized that living like this was not an option and began to think through options for moving to Moscow in order to at least reduce travel costs to the metro level:
- Borrow. It was eliminated almost immediately - the amount was too large. Yes, 15,000 at 16 seems like a lot of money. There is a risk of losing our job; it is not a fact that we will be able to pay it back.
- Couchsurfing. Most people who can host travelers are willing to provide accommodation for a short period of time - about 2-3 days, as a rule. Constantly jumping from place to place is a so-so option.
- Search by friends. Despite my young age, I had friends older than me who lived in Moscow. I called out on social networks, and it didn’t take long for help to arrive - my penfriend responded; she lived in Moscow in the apartment of her grandmother, who had temporarily left for her small homeland. They agreed to help us free of charge, they say, they were like that themselves. Filled with a feeling of gratitude and anticipation of soon adulthood, we collected our things. The parents, of course, were surprised, but agreed. We only asked to call more often and tell us how we will get there. And they wrote down the address too.
The apartment was large, two-room and bright. And it was located a 10-minute walk from the Tekstilshchiki metro station - a dream! We lived quite happily for a week in this mode. The joy of the move was soon overshadowed by news from the owners of a modest business, whose quest rooms we settled in: unfortunately, due to low attendance and revenue, they were forced to temporarily abandon their staff and work independently. At the time it seemed like a tragedy. The move to a separate apartment was postponed again.
How to clear out trash from your apartment: The story of how I cleaned out my house and took 12 bags of trash to the landfill.
I decided not to give up and immediately started looking for a new job. One of my new neighbors gave me the idea. Allegedly, a friend of a friend of hers worked in one chain of board game stores and was 17 years old at the time of employment. I immediately signed up for an interview, which was supposed to take place in 3 days. In order not to waste time, I went to other vacancies, so that in case of refusal I had a backup option. But most often I was refused: the age was wrong or I didn’t have a medical book.
My friend at this time got a job in another quest room.
My interview took place. Within 2 days I started an internship at a store on Taganka and quickly completed it. As the work progressed, new details emerged: and you still don’t create the schedule yourself, but instead of the promised 30 thousand, on average, employees receive 15 thousand (and this is in Moscow!). I started looking for a second job, and I found it in an anti-cafe.
The pay is very small, about 80 rubles per hour, but the duties are not particularly difficult: greet guests, check if the tea with sugar has run out, and take money.
Think about your nutrition
Before leaving, teach your child to cook at least a few simple dishes. Tell us how to properly store food, how many days in advance you should eat the leftover pot of soup, and when it’s best to throw out the leftovers. If you are really worried, start making supplies a couple of weeks before departure: when preparing the main dish and side dish, put one serving in a container and freeze. This way, your child will have a variety of healthy foods that just need to be heated.
Buy a sufficient amount of dairy products with a reserve for the expiration date and canned goods that the child definitely eats, prepare healthy snacks. All this will increase the likelihood that the child will not eat exclusively chips and rolls.
And for the most anxious parents, there are services where you can order a set of balanced meals for the whole day.
Of course, we must strive to ensure that the child learns to cook himself. Fortunately, you can find any recipe and even video instructions for it on the Internet. So why not instruct your teenager to please his parents with something tasty when they arrive?
Happy Expectations
Towards the end of 9th grade, when I was 16 years old, I told my parents that I wanted to live separately from them. The news was received with skepticism: they immediately told me that I couldn’t cope without money, they wouldn’t hire me without education (spoiler: they were very mistaken), I didn’t know how to cook, and, therefore, I should die of hunger in the next week (second spoiler: cook did not learn and is alive).
It's interesting: "What do I want to be when I grow up?" For those who have already grown up, but still haven’t decided.
My friend and I spent a long time planning how we would arrange everything. Initially, we were going to live with my parents (they gave the go-ahead), during which time we would get a permanent job and save up money. Then rent a room, for example, near the metro. According to the prices of those times, the room would have cost at least 15 thousand.
Make a list of things to do around the house
Children often do not notice the work that their parents do around the house. Everything happens as if by itself. Therefore, it is not a sin to remind you how regularly you take out the trash, wash sinks, vacuum, change towels, rinse the teapot and water the flowers. For the first time, ask your teenager to independently create and agree with you on a written schedule of when and what needs to be done.
Teach how to use household appliances, if you haven’t done so before. Tell us that there is such a wonderful thing as a timer. And it’s better to use it, even if you step away from the switched on stove “for a minute.” And also remind you that clothes will quickly run out if you don’t start the washing machine from time to time.
Content:
- At what age can you legally leave a child alone at home?
- How to understand that a child is ready to be left alone?
- What can happen? We exclude all potentially dangerous situations Fire
- Flood
- Smell of gas
- Knock on the door
Let me bring a friend
In general, the child will have more fun and comfort if, while you are not at home, he can bring a friend you know well to visit. If your child’s friend is going to spend the night with you, prepare clean bed linen and a towel for him, and remind him that you do not allow him to take your personal belongings and hygiene items. This will help, after returning, to avoid conflicts in the spirit of: “Who lay on my bed and crushed it?!”
But the teenager must understand that organizing large gatherings or bringing new acquaintances in the absence of adults is dangerous. And understand that if he breaks the ban, he will have to deal with the consequences himself. Say this: “Please, you can have a party, but if your friends ruin something in the apartment or the local police officer issues a fine for violating public order, then you will have to earn compensation for the damage yourself. I’m not going to help you with this.”
First apartment for money
The apartment belonged to the boss's father. Unfortunately, he decided to put it up for sale. This time we managed to save some money and we started looking for rental housing. We found a small studio (literally 16 sq. m.) in a townhouse in the private sector of the city of Vidnoye. It took a lot of money for the journey, but salaries also began to rise: I became heavily involved in PR and advertising, and then added social networks and promotion to my responsibilities.
This did not go unnoticed by management: the salary increased to 40 thousand, which I was very happy about.
Do not panic!
It may very well be that your teenager knows and can do much more than you think. It’s just that when mom is at home, sometimes you’re too lazy to do something yourself... So, probably, all the precautions we talked about above are needed not so much by children as by parents. And rightly so: it is better to play it safe than to leave without preparation, and then not find a place for yourself due to anxiety.
Do you think that you are a bad parent if you are going to leave an almost adult child alone for several days? Down with anxiety! You are a wonderful parent who teaches your teenager independence and the ability to be responsible for himself; without this, he will grow up “greenhouse” and completely unadapted to life, and this is really dangerous. All the same, sooner or later every person has to fly out of their parents’ nest. So isn't it better to prepare for this event in advance?
Working for a giant bank at 17? Everything is real!
Over time, the field of work began to bore me. To describe it in two words, it was an eternal deadline - constant monitoring of competitors, very active work on social networks, almost 24/7. I also didn’t like the irregular schedule with a minimum of days off.
One day, a friend of mine spoke very highly of working in the call center of a giant bank. Everything was good - flexible schedule, salary, corporate benefits. Also, according to her, it was possible to work from the age of 18. At first this upset me, but later I remembered the saying: “Trying is not torture.”
How to earn money without leaving home? I get paid for my literacy: working as a copywriter.
I contacted the bank’s HR department, told about myself and asked if it was possible to get to them at the age of 17. After the employee’s answer, my surprise knew no bounds. They told me yes! I came for the interview and passed it without any problems, and a week later I started training. The lack of education did not hinder me at all; I did not lag behind colleagues with education and even experience.
Unfortunately, due to my age, I had some restrictions on my work hours and schedule. I could work no more than 35 hours a week and strictly on a 5/2 schedule. Upon reaching the age of 18, this oversight disappeared on its own. Currently, I have received several promotions and left to work in another department, and the salary is approaching the average salary in Moscow (according to Moscow City Statistics Service, the average salary of a Muscovite is 91,815 rubles).
