In a separate article, we already talked about how to file for divorce if the second spouse does not want it, and, obviously, in this case a statement of claim is needed. However, as many people, even people far from jurisprudence, understand, the statement of claim must indicate the reasons for filing. Because a court is not a friendly meeting, but an official structure, and even for a preliminary consideration of a case, grounds are needed. What may be the reasons for divorce in a statement of claim?
For example, some couples write approximately the following reasons in such statements:
- Significant differences in views;
- Unaccounted for feelings;
- Conflict of temperaments.
It is worth understanding that any reason has a degree of weight. This is especially important if there are children in the marriage. After all, the more people potentially affected by a breakup, the more compelling the court will look for for its termination. Therefore, in this article we will take a closer look at what reasons can be indicated in various life situations.
What reason should be given for divorce?
The law does not provide a list of reasons for divorce. Therefore, the plaintiff faces a difficult task - to correctly formulate the essence of the problem and convey to the court the impossibility of solving it in any other way other than divorce.
Practice shows that the most significant and convincing reasons for divorce are:
Personal reasons
Personal reasons for divorce include mutual cooling of feelings, loss of affection, loss of respect and trust, and even dislike of spouses for each other. At first glance, this reason may seem quite emotional and not serious enough. However, it is worth remembering the principles set out in Art. 1 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation - “...building family relationships on feelings of mutual love and respect, mutual assistance and responsibility...”
Household reasons
Domestic reasons include alcohol or drug addiction of one of the spouses, physical and psychological violence against a spouse or child, exclusion from housekeeping and lack of help at home, lack of interest in raising children and family communication.
When indicating the spouse's alcoholism as the main reason for divorce, a certificate from a psychoneurological dispensary about the spouse's treatment and witness testimony should be attached. If the reason for the divorce is beatings, it is necessary to attach a certificate from the police about the receipt of calls, the drawing up of protocols and the application of administrative measures, as well as medical examination reports on the removal of beatings.
Reasons of a material nature
Lack of own housing and living together with parents often leads to numerous family conflicts. And if, in addition to this, material difficulties arise - lack of work or unwillingness to earn money, lack of funds, excessive spending, a full-fledged family life is under threat. The material reasons for divorce can be formulated this way: “The spouse does not work anywhere and refuses to look for work. Not only does he not provide for the family, but he also puts them in an extremely difficult financial situation. I consider saving the marriage impossible.”
Many divorces are complicated by the division of joint property. In this case, a lawyer for the division of property in Moscow can help the couple.
Reasons of a sexual nature
There are other reasons for divorce. In particular, betrayal and adultery, sexual disharmony, dissatisfaction with sex life. Should such reasons for divorce be indicated in the statement of claim? No, it's not worth it.
- Firstly, the intimate life of spouses is not regulated by family law, which means that the court will not be able to formulate the reasoning part of the decision to divorce.
- Secondly, the court may consider such reasons not compelling enough to dissolve the marriage.
- Thirdly, details of marital intimate life should not be disclosed for moral reasons. In addition, public complaints of a sexual nature can hurt and offend a spouse.
Instead of directly indicating piquant reasons for divorce in the claim, limit yourself to general wording.
Financial reasons
The lack of a stable financial situation for one of the spouses can also become a reason for divorce. If the reason for filing a claim for dissolution of the marriage was the lack of desire of the 2nd spouse to work, then when drawing up the claim it will be possible to indicate the following wording: “due to the fact that my spouse does not work and is not looking for a place to receive income, which puts the family in a difficult financial situation, I consider maintaining the marriage relationship impossible.” The exception is when a woman is on maternity leave - this is a valid reason and cannot be a reason for divorce.
Treason
In addition to the above reasons, adultery can also become a reason for divorce. But, it is not recommended to indicate the infidelity of the husband/wife as a reason, since, firstly, this fact will be very difficult to confirm, and secondly, an authorized representative of the judicial authority may consider this reason not compelling enough.
Living with relatives under one roof
The housing problem has always been acute for residents of big cities; Bulgakov wrote about this in “The Master and Margarita.” Unable to move into separate housing, young couples usually live in a house with the parents of one of the spouses.
Very rarely does such cohabitation benefit the relationship. In especially severe cases, divorce occurs.
Long business trips for husband or wife
The occupation of many people involves constant travel and long stays away from home. These are athletes, military personnel, sailors, pilots, truck drivers, and artists. People who get married usually have little idea of what awaits them.
Feelings of loneliness, worries about your spouse and jealousy can kill even the strongest love. Especially if your own life is boring and monotonous, and your spouse is the only light in the window.
Inability to have children
Infertility in married couples is not uncommon today; about 6% of marriages break up for this reason. A spouse whose fertility is fine may find it difficult to come to terms with the impossibility of having natural children, and he leaves. Most often this is a man; a woman in this situation can resort to artificial insemination.
Irreconcilable contradictions in views on life
When getting married, many people do not bother to discuss important life-changing issues among themselves: where they will live, how they will share responsibilities and manage the family budget, whether they will have children and how soon. As a result, very often views diverge, and none of the spouses wants to compromise. Everyone tries to bend the other, scandals and showdowns begin, and in the end people not only get divorced, but turn into their worst enemies.
Intercultural and interfaith marriages are at risk. The traditions and customs of different peoples are very different, and this, naturally, leaves an imprint on family life. I know couples who separated after 10 years of marriage, unable to agree on what name to name their child. This could be funny if it weren't so sad.
We have found out the main reasons that lie on the surface and are visible to the naked eye. But if you dig deeper, it very often turns out that they are only a consequence of the psychological and personal problems of two people who happen to be nearby.
People are not always able to reflect on these internal problems and draw the right conclusions. If, after a divorce, a person blames his ex-spouse for all the sins, but does not see a drop of guilt behind himself, with a high degree of probability we can say that his next relationship will end in failure. Therefore, psychologists advise always maintaining mental hygiene and always working on yourself.
What to pay attention to
When resolving conflicts between adults, do not forget about the small members of the family. It is necessary to resolve issues not only about where they will live, but also about the payment of child support by the second parent. This obligation to support children until adulthood is prescribed in Article 80 of the RF IC.
If a claim for alimony is filed, payments are assigned as a share of the payer’s basic earnings or as a fixed amount. The second option is considered when a man does not have a permanent job or the amount of interest violates his interests.
When the spouses have an unresolved issue regarding the ownership of jointly acquired property, the court decides this too. The division of property can be discussed either at a separate meeting or as part of the divorce process.
Information about what things, savings and real estate belong to joint ownership is contained in Article 34 of the RF IC. It will not be possible to simply seize an apartment from your husband during a divorce.
Official reasons for divorce
In accordance with Art. 166 of the Civil Code of the Russian Federation, in order to recognize the invalidity of a contestable transaction, a court decision is required, and the nullity of the transaction does not depend on the presence of a court decision, since it is invalid from the moment of its conclusion. In accordance with Art. 166 of the Civil Code of the Russian Federation, in order to recognize the invalidity of a contestable transaction, a court decision is required, and the nullity of the transaction does not depend on the presence of a court decision, since it is invalid from the moment of its conclusion.[/su_note] In accordance with Art. 166 of the Civil Code of the Russian Federation, in order to recognize the invalidity of a contestable transaction, a court decision is required, and the nullity of the transaction does not depend on the existence of a court decision, since it is invalid from the moment of its conclusion.[/su_note] The court will evaluate all evidence according to its own conviction, taking into account the norms of the law. . Each party must present evidence in its favor.[/su_note]Art. 16 of the RF IC contains 2 grounds on which a marriage union can be dissolved:
- Death or recognition of one of the spouses as deceased.
- Submission of a joint or one of the spouses application for divorce.
Part 2 Art. 19 of the RF IC stipulates that one of the spouses has the right to file an application for divorce if the second spouse is recognized by a court decision:
- unknown absent;
- incompetent;
In other cases, the civil registry office (if the decision to divorce is mutual and there are no other disputes) or the court consider the specified reasons in the statement of claim individually, the list of which is indicated above. The most common official reasons for divorce are:
- loss of valuables enshrined in Article 1 of the RF IC;
- the presence of negative factors that make the continued existence of the family impossible (alcoholism, parasitism, drug addiction, rowdyism, etc.);
- the actual termination of family relations, and in some cases the emergence of a new common-law family among official spouses.
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Problems in personal relationships
The reasons for divorce in the statement of claim must coincide with the real grounds for dissolution of the union. The applicant will have to prove his position in court. The other side will try to refute them.
A popular reason for divorce is the personal relationships of the parties. They are:
- in the inconsistency of characters (different views on life, career);
- in the desire/unwillingness of natural and adopted children;
- in domestic tyranny (physical and emotional abuse);
- in the cessation of mutual feelings.
Personal reasons for divorce in the statement of claim must be indicated in the application. A union between a man and a woman should initially be built on personal relationships. The lack of harmonious relationships makes an individual cell of society unhappy.
How to keep the reason for divorce secret from third parties
The law provides for the possibility of filing a petition to consider a claim in a closed meeting. Experts recommend that all spouses take advantage of this opportunity when resolving controversial issues. If the other spouse objects to the divorce, the applicant must file a motion for closed process along with the statement of claim. Thus, the parties will be freed from the presence of third parties in the courtroom. The court will consider the petition and decide whether to grant it, in order to preserve the privacy of the parties' personal lives. A feature of a closed meeting is the removal of all persons not participating in the process, and even witnesses.
Confirmation of reasons
If desired (and if there is the appropriate opportunity), the plaintiff can attach a document confirming the presence of one or another reason. For example, he can provide a certificate from the Forensic Medical Examination (forensic medical examination) or from a narcologist about the registration of the spouse.
Consideration of the case in court
After the claim for termination of the marital relationship is submitted to the judicial authority, the judge reviews the submitted documentation and decides whether to initiate a civil case or not. When initiating a civil case, a court staff member (secretary of a precinct or meeting, or an assistant judge) calls the spouses into the process, where each of them argues in defense of their position and provides documents confirming/refusing this or that fact. The court, in turn, listens to the spouses (as well as third parties - if a petition was filed to summon them to the trial) and, after receiving the overall picture, decides whether to dissolve the marriage or give the spouses a period for reconciliation. If the judge decides to dissolve the marriage, then this is supported by a corresponding decision, which, after the deadline for appeal, comes into force.
Difficulties in preparing a divorce application
A competent formulation of the reasons for divorce is the success of a prompt resolution of the case without a long period for reconciliation, if you do not need it. After all, with reconciliation, the divorce process may drag on for another three months.
At the same time, plaintiffs often experience difficulties with the correctness and correctness of the wording of the divorce, including:
- the vagueness of the reasons why the court decides to give the spouses a period for reconciliation;
- their simplicity or rudeness, unacceptable in official documents;
- reluctance to disclose personal information, coupled with ignorance of the possibility of filing a motion to hold a closed meeting.
Domestic problems in the family
The second most popular reason is domestic troubles. At the beginning of a relationship, the parties are deprived of the opportunity to evaluate the everyday qualities of their partners. Therefore, they often become an unpleasant surprise for the spouse. The main problems are:
- subjective everyday habits;
- presence of bad habits (alcohol, drug, gaming addiction);
- reluctance to make a material contribution to the family budget.
Subjective household habits are revealed exclusively when living together. For example, a man lived with his mother and grandmother. Women provided for the child's daily life in full. They prepared food, washed and ironed things, provided him with money, and turned a blind eye to his rudeness. In marriage, he expects such an attitude from his wife. The wife may not be ready to become a servant.
Identifying addictions before marriage is not always possible. They tend to progress over a long period of time. In addition, dependent individuals tend to hide their hobbies until the degree of addiction begins to affect other areas of life (debt, problems at work).
It is not always possible to identify the chosen one’s material difficulties before marriage. In Russia, it is not customary to be interested in the sources of income of the other half. Therefore, the lack of a permanent job and the presence of large loans may become apparent already during the marriage. In European countries this approach is not accepted. The parties enter into a marriage contract in advance and ask lawyers to study the financial capabilities of the future spouse.
When describing domestic reasons in a claim, there is no need to go into detail. A brief and as general description as possible is sufficient. The court rarely divorces citizens who have indicated many domestic reasons in their lawsuit the first time. An emotional description can be the reason for momentary decision making. Therefore, consideration of the claim will be delayed in time.
Psychological aspects of divorce
The cornerstone of all human problems, including those related to the inability to build family relationships, is the psychological immaturity of the individual. In other words – infantilism. The phenomenon is widespread and very difficult to eradicate in our time due to blurred values and lack of moral guidelines.
It manifests itself in the reluctance and inability to take responsibility, the refusal to rely on oneself, and the search for external sources of emotional and material comfort.
It is not surprising that the initiators of divorce are more often women - gender stereotypes allow them to remain weak and dependent almost into old age, but such indulgences, as a rule, have to be paid dearly. The faster a person grows up, the more successful and happier his life will be.
One of the consequences of personal immaturity is egocentrism. It eats away at a marriage like rust - gradually but inevitably. A family union of two egocentrics is doomed to a quick divorce and rarely lasts longer than three years. If in a couple only one spouse suffers from egocentrism, the other can carry everything on himself for quite a long time. But sooner or later the cup of patience is overflowing, and he leaves, leaving the second one in bewilderment and confusion.
Social reasons and factors provoking divorces
Social trends and processes cannot but leave their mark on the institution of the family. And although this is not a direct influence, but an indirect one, I could not ignore it. Let's figure out what factors can provoke such a huge number of divorces.
Propaganda of childlessness
The motto of modern youth is to live one day at a time and don’t worry. Everything that does not fit into this doctrine - namely, any responsibility, hard work, moral and ethical principles - is considered harmful and destructive. We see how the idle and selfish lifestyle is idealized in films, modern literature and show business.
Naturally, there is no place for children in such a picture of the world. And childless marriages break up much more often - this is a fact confirmed by statistics. The total number of divorces is 65%.
Exaggeration of the role of sex in people's lives
Sexual stimuli today lie in wait for us everywhere - on the street, on TV, on the radio, on the Internet; the only place you can hide from them is in a kindergarten or church. Particularly “progressive” sections of society constantly strive for sexual liberation, although there is no room for liberation. Against the backdrop of such aggressive brainwashing, married people begin to feel somewhat damaged and deprived, because marriage imposes certain restrictions on male and female libido. They begin to look with envy at their single friends and come to the conclusion that they did not have time to have fun. And having escaped to the long-awaited freedom, as a rule, they bitterly regret the broken family.
Body cult
First of all, of course, women's. The deification of girlish beauty has always taken place, but today it has acquired completely grotesque forms. It’s a paradox, but it is the fair sex themselves who suffer from this state of affairs first of all.
A woman loses her external attractiveness before a man - the birth of children leaves its mark, sad as it may be. Closer to 40, she can no longer compete with young girls for the attention of the opposite sex, while the target audience of men, on the contrary, is expanding. Having reached his fifth decade, he can be a desirable gentleman for both a twenty-year-old and a fifty-year-old lady. When young photoshopped beauties with perfect bodies look at him from Instagram pages, he begins to critically evaluate his wife. All her services to him and the years spent together fade into the background. It is at this age that men often leave their wives and demand a divorce.
Problems with wording
The importance of stating the reasons in a claim should not be underestimated. If there are insufficient grounds for trial, the matter may be extended for additional time. The main difficulties in filing a claim include:
- superficial presentation of the reasons (tired of enduring, problems in relationships);
- vagueness of the reason (angry, bad, rude, boring);
- rudeness (swearing and obscene words are prohibited in official documents);
- excessive emotionality of the claim;
- too detailed presentation (And he told me... and I told him...).
Sample request for consideration of a case in a closed court session
| Request for a closed hearing |
Divorce is always difficult and painful. Protect yourself from negative emotions and experiences. Entrust the case to a lawyer.
You will find a sample and rules for filing a claim in the article “Statement of claim for divorce through the court with and without children”
Adultery
Often one of the spouses decides to file for divorce due to infidelity on the part of the partner. Whether to submit this issue to the court is up to everyone to decide for themselves. In most cases, the formulations given in the previous section are sufficient.
Be objective and calm in court
However, if divorce precisely because of infidelity is a fundamental point for you, use the most specific formulations without unnecessary emotions, for example: “I consider the further continuation of married life impossible, because... the husband/wife does not remain faithful, thereby humiliating my personal dignity. I believe that the situation in our family does not correspond to the ideas of mutual respect and love, which are the fundamental foundations of marriage.”
Practice shows that it is better to maintain prudence, composure and balance before the court. Use emotional expressions only if it is impossible to describe the essence of the problem without them. Do not write that you are in “unbearable pain,” “very offended,” etc. Such statements have no legal basis. You will be able to express your thoughts on the case during the court hearing. In the application, everything must be stated briefly, succinctly and clearly.
Engaging a specialist
Drawing up a statement of claim during a period of resentment towards your spouse, conflictual relationships and when you are in the mood for his refusal to divorce is not the best idea. In such cases, it is advisable to involve a specialist. A lawyer will help you correctly collect documents, draw up a statement of claim, and correctly formulate the reasons for the divorce and the requirements for the defendant. He will advise and help you file a request for a closed trial.
An additional advantage is the ability to invite a lawyer to the meeting as a representative. An emotionally charged situation may prevent the plaintiff from independently assessing his options.
Important! A representative can even participate in a closed process.
Thus, the formulation of reasons must comply with the following rules. The reason must accurately reflect the cause that arose. You should not express your reasons overly emotionally. There is no need to make the wording vague. If there is no consent of the second spouse for divorce, together with the claim, it is necessary to file a petition to determine a closed process.
