Islam pays great attention to the personal life of believers. towards divorce . According to its canons, such an action is considered undesirable (makruh) and indicates the weakness of a person’s faith. And although both spouses have the right to initiate divorce , divorces in Muslim countries are extremely rare.
According to Sharia law, there is a complex procedure for divorce. Only after its completion the marriage is truly considered dissolved. Violation of these norms is considered a serious sin and disobedience to the Almighty.
What does Islam say about divorce?
Islam does not encourage divorce. This is to put it mildly. In the Koran it is called “the most hated of all things permitted.” Religion calls for respect and patience between spouses, for mutual care in the relationship between them.
Islam requires spouses to use all means to preserve the family and resolve the conflict. At the same time, it is accepted that there may be situations when the marital relationship . But divorce in Islam is not a rule , but only an exception to it. This is a last resort solution to problems in the family.
The Koran instructs men to divorce only women of “bad character,” which cannot be corrected, and they lack the strength to endure. It is also possible to dissolve a marriage with a spouse who does not comply with Sharia law. In other words, the reason for such a step must be very compelling.
In the Muslim world, the institution of marriage is part of the religion. And if a person wants divorce to be considered legitimate from the point of view of religious canons, he must fulfill certain requirements.
Procedure
In order for a divorce to take place, in Islam only the words of a man are enough, so a Muslim husband must watch what he says, since words that will put an end to family life can be both direct and allegorical - words that can lead to divorce said accidentally, in anger.
A Muslim husband can divorce his wife only two times, after each time he must break off intimate relations with her, talaq given three times with a short period of time or given throughout the entire married life is final. Witnesses are not required when granting a divorce.
Each nation has its own tradition and culture, and if among Muslim peoples saying the words “I divorced you” means divorce, then among some other Muslim nations even such words as “Go wherever you want” can become a signal for the end of family life. free!” And if the married couple really had the intention to end their marital relationship, then these words will make the divorce valid. An announcement about this made by a husband to his wife by telephone or via the Internet can also become evidence of a divorce.
Types of divorce in Islam
In Islam, there are three types of divorce (talaq) on the part of a man:
- preliminary;
- full;
- final.
Preliminary talaq is not a dissolution of marriage. Relations between spouses can be resumed during the Iddah. This is a period that is three menstrual cycles or three months if the wife is pregnant.
To initiate a non-final divorce, a man just needs to say it out loud. A man can write his decision on paper and let his wife read it.
The husband can change his mind and resume the relationship after preliminary talaq. To do this, it is enough for him to inform about his decision or simply kiss the woman and enter into intimacy with her. This must be done before the end of Iddah. The spouse's consent is not required.
The purpose of a preliminary divorce is to give spouses the opportunity to reconsider their relationship and not destroy the family.
A man gives a complete divorce to his wife if he decides to finally separate from her. During the period of Iddah, he is prohibited from entering his ex-wife’s chambers, and she is prohibited from dressing up or trying to seduce a man in other ways.
This type of dissolution of a relationship also occurs if the wife asks to break it off by paying a ransom to her husband. Usually such things happen by prior agreement.
The rupture of a marriage is considered complete if a man declares three divorces to his wife at the same time. Also after the first talaq, if the spouses have not yet had sexual relations. In the latter case, the husband pays his wife half the mahr, and she can immediately remarry.
The first two talaqs are considered a minor divorce, since after them the spouses can still restore legal relations.
Talaq becomes final if a man announces it to his wife three times. After it, a woman will be able to return to her husband only after a union with another man and a divorce from him.
More correct is considered full talaq, which was spent not at once, but over and over again. Such a divorce is more consistent with the Quran and Sunnah.
How to get a divorce correctly
Praise be to Allah, who sent down the Quran and wisdom to lead people from the darkness of ignorance to the light of knowledge! Peace and blessings to the Prophet Muhammad, who explained everything that makes us happier and warned against everything that brings trouble and destroys destinies. Peace and blessings to his most pure family and all righteous companions!
We often hear that the family is the unit and foundation of any society. The family plays a huge role in raising children and developing personality. At the same time, for believers, family is, first of all, a source of peace of mind, without which it is difficult to avoid sins and move towards Allah. But even in a happy marriage, where the spouses complement each other, there are disagreements and quarrels. Individual preferences, emotional state, relationships with others and many other factors can always lead to family quarrels. Islam teaches us to show restraint in such situations and meet each other halfway, not allowing the shaitan to sow discord in the family. But people are people, and not everyone and not always manages to adequately perceive the weakness of their neighbor.
It happens that over time, spouses get used to each other. And it also happens that the behavior or some trait of a partner causes increasing irritation and undermines the marriage. Problems grow to such proportions that both spouses or one of them begin to think about divorce. The Koran forbids rushing into such a decision and orders both spouses and their relatives to do everything possible for reconciliation. But Islam does not make a person a hostage to such a situation. If admonitions, frank conversations and the intervention of relatives do not bring peace to the family, then the Koran allows the husband to declare a divorce, and the woman to demand a divorce or file a corresponding claim in court.
This forced measure is justified only in cases of extreme necessity, when further life together causes suffering and pushes one to sin. One of the hadiths says: “Of all the permitted acts, the most hated by Allah is divorce” (Abu Dawud and Ibn Majah). The isnad of this message is unreliable, and its meaning is also very doubtful. If the spouses do not see a way to save the family, then divorce is not condemned. But if there is no serious reason for a divorce, which can ruin the lives of the spouses and make the children unhappy, then taking such a step is at least extremely undesirable. Al-'Ala ibn Sufyan al-Ghassani reported: “I was told that among the implicit vile acts that Allah forbade but did not name in the Qur'an is the act of a man who marries a woman, and after they have lived for a long time, she bore him children, divorces her without any reason” (at-Tabarani). A woman is also forbidden to demand a divorce from her husband for no reason, and the hadith says: “A woman who demands a divorce from her husband will not feel the fragrance of paradise if she has not been harmed” (Abu Dawud, at-Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah).
Sharia law gives the right to divorce only to men. A wife cannot divorce her husband on her own. The reason for this prescription is that men tend to be more reserved and reasonable when making serious decisions, while women are more emotional. Of course, there are exceptions, but this does not change God’s decree. This means that a man must be aware of the responsibility for preserving the family and exercise prudence without abusing the right given to him. If the decision to divorce is made, then it should be implemented in strict accordance with Shariah norms.
First of all, you need to remember that divorce cannot be declared at any time. If, after completing the wife’s regulations, the spouses entered into intimate intimacy, then it is necessary to wait until the next regulations are cleared. The Almighty wished this so that husbands would not make hasty decisions and spouses would have the opportunity to rectify the current situation. A man commits a sin if he declares divorce during menstruation or during the period of purification, if the spouses had intimacy after purification. But if the husband did not show prudence and declared a divorce at the wrong time, then such a divorce is counted. The above applies to those cases when the wife has regular periods. If a woman is pregnant or does not have her period, then you can divorce her at any time, regardless of when the spouses last had intimacy.
To declare a divorce, a man just needs to say to his wife: “You are divorced” or “I am divorcing you.” Any other expression directly indicating the dissolution of the marriage is also counted as a declaration of divorce. The threat “I will divorce you” made in the future tense does not count as a divorce unless the husband attaches a condition to it. But if he connected such a threat with a condition, saying, for example: “I will divorce you if you go to such and such a store without my permission,” then if this condition is met, the divorce comes into force. But expressions like “leave the house,” which do not directly indicate divorce, mean divorce only if the husband uttered them with such intention. If the phrase “you are divorced” accidentally came out of the husband’s mouth, for example, while he was reading a book on this topic, and he had no intention of getting a divorce, then such a slip of the tongue is not taken into account. But if the husband decided to joke and divorced his wife for fun, then the divorce is counted. Such jokes can be expensive. The hadith says: “Three actions are taken seriously, even if they are done in jest: marriage, divorce and resumption of marriage” (Abu Dawud, at-Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah).
From the moment the divorce is announced, a waiting period begins for the wife, during which she cannot marry another man. This period is called Iddah, and its duration depends on the condition of the woman. If a divorced woman is pregnant, then the iddah continues until the pregnancy is delivered, even if this happens the next day. That is, if a husband declares a divorce on his pregnant wife, and she gives birth to a child the next day, then the spouses are considered permanently divorced and the woman has the right to marry another person. If the former spouses decide to restore the relationship, then they must remarry in compliance with all conditions.
If a woman is of childbearing age and has regular menstruation, then 'iddah continues until the purification of the third full menstruation (according to Imams Malik and al-Shafi'i) or until the beginning of the third menstruation (according to Imam Abu Hanifa). But if the husband declares divorce in violation of the established rules during menstruation, then this menstruation is not taken into account, and the divorced wife must wait for the fourth purification. In the event that a woman's menstruation stops or does not begin at all, the iddah is three lunar months.
There are special regulations regarding divorce in the event that the spouses have never had intimacy and have not even been secluded. The Almighty said: “O you who believe! If you marry believing women and then divorce them before you have touched them, then they are not obligated to you to wait a period." (Sura 33: The Hordes, verse 49)
. The expression "before you touched them" indicates intimacy between spouses. However, according to the majority, a woman becomes free immediately after the divorce is announced if her husband divorced her before they entered into intimate intimacy, and before they were alone in a room where there were no adults or conscious children. In this case, the woman does not have to wait for Iddah, has the right to half the mahr and can get married immediately if someone else proposes to her.
During the Iddah, a divorced woman must stay in her husband's house and has the right to financial support from him. During this period, the husband has the right to return his wife if he decides that they can save the family and live happily. In this case, the consent of the wife or her guardian to renew the marriage is not required, nor is the repayment of mahr required. According to the majority of jurists, including Hanafis and Hanbalis, to renew the marriage and end the idda, it is enough for the spouses to enter into intimacy. If the husband kissed or caressed his wife with the intention of returning to their life together, then this is also considered a resumption of marriage. According to most jurists, including Hanafis and Shafi'is, asking two Muslims to witness the resumption of marriage is also not necessary, but it is desirable, and this can be done after intimacy.
The question may arise: how then to understand the verse “When the appointed time has come for them, keep them with you in an amicable way, or let them go in an amicable way and call two just men from among you as witnesses” ( Sura 65 “Divorce”, verse 2)
? Witnesses are needed, especially if the spouse is seriously ill and may die, because if the renewal of the marriage is not established, then the divorced wife does not inherit from her husband. Nevertheless, the ulema consider the presence of witnesses to be desirable regulations, since the husband decides to renew the marriage unilaterally. This is the right of the husband, not a contract, and the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, ordered Ibn 'Umar to return his wife, but did not order him to call two witnesses (al-Bukhari and Muslim).
If the husband returns his wife during Iddah, then they remain legal spouses and can live as before. But it is not permissible for a husband to return his wife after divorce more than twice. In pre-Islamic times, Arabs divorced and returned their wives without any restrictions. The Koran limited the number of inconclusive divorces to two: “Divorce is allowed twice, after which one must either keep the wife on reasonable terms, or let her go kindly” (Sura 2 “The Cow”, verse 229)
. If, after the resumption of marriage, the husband decides to divorce again for some reason, he can return his wife a second time. But after this, only one expression separates the spouses from the final divorce: “you are divorced.”
If the husband does not return his wife during the first or second iddah, then the spouses are divorced permanently. After the waiting period, the man and woman must separate and comply with all the requirements of the divorce. The husband has no right to demand back the mahr that he gave to his wife upon marriage, or the gifts that he made during their marriage. If the husband has not paid the full mahr to his wife, he is obliged to do so immediately after the final divorce, unless the ex-wife forgives him this debt or part of it. Moreover, the ex-wife’s guardian does not have the right to forgive this debt, because the mahr belongs to the woman and the guardian has no right to dispose of it without her consent.
If, after the iddah after the first or second divorce, the ex-husband and wife want to get back together, they are obliged to enter into a remarriage in compliance with all its conditions - with the consent of the bride and her guardian, in the presence of two witnesses and by agreeing on a new mahr. In this case, previous divorces are not annulled. If a remarriage was concluded after the first divorce, then after one subsequent divorce, if this happens, the husband can still return his wife. But if the remarriage was preceded by two divorces, then the next divorce will be final for the spouses.
If the husband gives a divorce for the third time, then from that moment the spouses are permanently divorced. Their marriage ends and they no longer have the right to live together. They do not even have the right to remarry with mutual consent until the woman marries another man and he divorces her after they enter into intimacy (Surah 2 “The Cow”, verse 230). Only in this case can the ex-husband and thrice divorced wife remarry subject to all conditions. Moreover, the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, strictly forbade entering into fictitious marriages with a thrice divorced woman so that she could remarry her ex-husband. The hadith narrated by Abu Dawud, at-Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah even states that he cursed men who marry a woman with such intention. This cannot be done even if the woman does not know about the intention of the man, who then wants to divorce her and make her free for her ex-husband.
Knowledge of these provisions of Sharia is mandatory for everyone who starts a family. Many people have heard that divorce is declared three times in Islam, but do not understand the meaning of this regulation. Some are in a hurry and declare divorce at the wrong time, when a woman has monthly bleeding or after marital intimacy during the period of purification. Even some of those who advocate the purity of Islam and oppose any innovations do this. But such an act is considered heresy and sin, although it is counted as divorce. Others believe that after the first divorce, it is obligatory to return the wife during the Iddah, in order to then divorce her a second time, and then a third time. In reality, as we have already noted, if the husband does not renew the marriage before the end of the Iddah, then the spouses are considered completely divorced and can no longer live together. However, unlike the third divorce, they still have a chance to get back together by remarrying. Still others think that even after the first divorce, the spouses cannot live together, and send the wife to the parental home, while the Koran forbids doing this unless the wife has committed a vicious act. Finally, some believe that a divorce only takes effect if it is declared three times in a row. By doing this, they disobey the All-Merciful Lord and sin against themselves and their families.
According to the majority of ulema, including the imams of the four madhhabs, a divorce declared three times is final and obliges the spouses to immediately separate. This applies to cases where the husband utters words indicating divorce three times with the intention of giving a triple divorce. This is a very important nuance, because if the husband repeated the phrase “We are divorced” several times, meaning only one divorce, then this is counted as one divorce. Only a few jurists, including Sheikh-ul-Islam Ibn Taymiyya, believed that out of three divorces pronounced in a row, only the first is counted. The arguments of the majority of ulema, in our opinion, are more convincing, and among them I would like to (Sura 65 “Divorce”, verse 1)
, that is, it may happen that during the Iddah the spouses will reconcile and continue to live happily. According to many commentators, to sin against oneself when declaring a divorce means to deprive oneself of the chances of saving the family. This is exactly the case when a man declares a triple divorce, after which the spouses separate without iddah.
It is regrettable that recently more and more Muslims underestimate the seriousness of marriage and the importance of family. They easily create a family and just as easily destroy it without a serious reason, because of trifles or minor conflicts. Some husbands even start scandals that lead to divorce because the wife cooked bad food, didn’t iron her shirt on time, or didn’t visit her parents when necessary. In anger, they announce three divorces in a row, leaving no chance for reconciliation. They will disobey Allah and His Messenger, peace and blessings of the Most High be upon him. They follow the lead of the shaitan and indulge their passion. They break the hearts and ruin the lives of their sisters, often leaving them with nothing. Many naive girls marry believers only because they rely on their integrity. They are inexperienced and do not ask for a decent mahr for themselves, which would be a consolation for them in the event of a divorce or even deter their husband from an unreasonable act. As a result, they are left with only the bitterness of regret and disappointment.
But it’s not just husbands who sometimes treat their families irresponsibly. It also happens that a wife demands a divorce from her husband without a serious reason, committing a grave sin. What should a woman do if she has grounds for divorce? In this case, she should first of all seek help from Allah and discuss the issue with her husband. If they do not come to an understanding, then she should turn to her relatives so that wise and prudent people from the families of the husband and wife can help them resolve the contradictions. If these efforts also fail, she may seek a divorce. If the husband refuses to divorce, she may demand a divorce with payment of financial compensation. In Sharia this is called khul.
It is not necessary for a woman to be in a state of purification to require a divorce. As compensation, she can give the mahr received at the marriage, or part of it or something more. In any case, the amount of compensation is determined by agreement between the spouses. But a man should not abuse his position, and it is better for him to meet his wife halfway if the marriage no longer makes them both happy. The Koran says that forgiving a wife for part of the mahr is closer to righteousness and piety (Sura 2 “The Cow”, verse 237).
The first such incident in the history of Islam occurred with the wife of Thabit ibn Qays. She came to the prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, and said: “O Messenger of Allah! I do not blame Thabit bin Qais for lack of good morals or piety, but I do not want to be ungrateful after converting to Islam.” The Messenger, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, asked her: “Will you return the garden to him?” She replied: “Yes.” Then he said: “Get your garden back and give her a divorce” (al-Bukhari).
What could be the basis for demanding a divorce? A woman can demand a divorce if her husband treats her harshly, beats or insults her, if he unreasonably deprives her of material support and does not approach her for a long time, or if she fears that she cannot be a good wife because of his bad appearance or bad character etc. A woman can also demand a divorce if she dislikes her husband because of his grave sins, such as neglect of prayer or adultery. But if the husband commits lesser sins, then she should not destroy the family, but make efforts to correct his shortcomings. If the husband does not agree to divorce with compensation, then the woman can file a claim in court. The qadi can dissolve the marriage at the request of the wife if she substantiates her claim, even if the husband does not appear at the court hearing. A woman’s interests in court can be represented by her lawyer if for some reason she does not want to be present during the hearing of the claim.
If the marriage is dissolved at the request of the wife with payment of compensation, then the iddah is only one full menstruation. That is, a woman can get married after clearing her first full menstruation. This opinion is confirmed by the story of the wife of Thabit ibn Qays, narrated by Abu Dawud and at-Tirmidhi, and at one time the same decision was made by Caliph 'Uthman ibn 'Affan. Many believed that in khula the waiting period lasts until the purification of the third full menstruation, but this opinion is weak and contradicts the clear hadith.
After khula, the husband does not have the right to return his wife during Iddah. There is no disagreement among the ulema on this score. From this it is clear that there are significant differences between blasphemy and divorce. First, divorce is declared by the husband and occurs with his consent, but blasphemy is possible against the wishes of the husband. Secondly, in case of blasphemy, the husband does not receive the right to renew the marriage. Third, with hula the waiting period is one menstrual cycle, not three. Because of these differences, some imams considered khul to be a dissolution of marriage and did not count it as one of the three permissible divorces, even if the husband declared the divorce when accepting compensation. Some may ask: why go into such detail? What does this give us? I will say right away that this question is of practical importance. If the husband declared two divorces to his wife and returned her after them, and then she dissolved the marriage, returning the mahr to him, then they can remarry. In other words, they still have the right to a third divorce. This is the opinion of 'Uthman ibn 'Affan, Ibn 'Umar and Ibn 'Abbas, as well as Imam Ahmad. Sheikh-ul-Islam Ibn Taymiyya gave preference to him. And although there are serious disagreements on this score, and most jurists equate blasphemy with divorce, the first opinion seems more convincing. And Allah knows best!
Remember, dear brothers and sisters, that marriage to a decent and righteous person is a great benefit that needs to be appreciated and multiplied. In certain situations, divorce is a reasonable decision, but most often it is preceded by unreasonable actions. Allah will certainly create a way out of a difficult situation for those who avoid sins and pray to Him to establish peace in their home. And we pray to Allah to protect Muslims and their families from everything bad, so that husbands achieve success and value their wives, and they raise children and support their husbands! O Allah, our Lord, You are infinitely far from any shortcomings! Praise be to You, Lord, and there is no god but You, and we are just Your sinful servants, in need of Your mercy and Your forgiveness.
Conditions for divorce and dissolution of nikah
A man has the right to give a divorce if he has legal capacity and has reached the age of majority. He must also act without coercion and of his own free will. These are the main conditions for talent. Naturally, only those who were married according to Sharia law can receive a divorce according to religious canons.
Another condition is compliance with the rules of Iddah. This period is necessary to determine the paternity of possible children.
All Muslim schools of law believe that a woman should not be divorced during her menstruation. You need to wait until it is completed and then declare talaq. Then this time is counted towards the period of Iddah.
In Islam, the right to divorce is primarily in the hands of the man. To dissolve the marriage, he just needs to inform him about it. He can also instruct a trusted person to announce this. Another option is to give the talent to your wife for monetary compensation. In this case, the man voices the number, and the woman must agree to it.
In what cases can a woman demand divorce?
The wife in Islam is relatively deprived of rights.
The wife is allowed to initiate divorce only in cases of infidelity by her husband, and when he does not comply with moral standards.
At the same time, the woman must prove that the man is not a very good family man or a bad Muslim. If her arguments fail to convince the judge, she will not be allowed to get a divorce.
When can a wife file for divorce on her own?
In the Muslim world, women can also demand a divorce. However, this requires very compelling reasons.
For example, if the spouse does not provide for the family or has some flaws that he hid before marriage. Or he doesn't fulfill his duties as a man. Valid reasons are considered:
- madness;
- castration or impotence;
- addiction to alcohol or drugs;
- too close relationship between spouses;
- disappearance of a man;
- long periods of captivity or imprisonment;
- infertility.
If there is any of the above reasons, then the woman can apply to the Shariah court.
In addition to the usual talent, Islam also provides for divorce-khula, which can be initiated by a woman. It is carried out if a man conscientiously fulfills all his duties, but the woman has lost all feelings for him and does not want to remain his wife. If a woman wants to get a divorce , then she pays her husband a certain amount and gets freedom.
Men can transfer the right to the talent to their wife. It is transmitted orally, in writing or through a proxy. Sometimes this is done with certain conditions. For example, it is stipulated that the wife can be free if her husband breaks some rule or vow.
Financial support for wife after divorce
In Islam, serious attention is paid to the material relations of spouses. The divorce procedure is no exception.
A man is obligated to support his wife during Iddah. She can also count on receiving a gift after the divorce. Theologians debate whether it is a gesture of goodwill or an obligation on the part of the man.
The woman's further maintenance depends on the presence of children. If they exist, then the husband is obliged to provide assistance. The standard is to provide for your children financially until they reach adulthood.
How to Prevent Divorce in Islam
The Qur'an explicitly states that divorce is hateful to God. You cannot break the sacred bonds of marriage just because you are tired of your wife or simply no longer like her. A Muslim must treat his wife with respect; it is forbidden to show aggression towards her, much less physical violence. In the event of conflicts in the family, a woman is not recommended to deny intimacy to a man.
Islam requires spouses to make every effort to preserve the family, because in the event of a divorce, not only they suffer, but also children, friends, and relatives. It is not for nothing that Muslims have invented a procedure with three divorces. It gives the man and woman extra time to think. If one of the spouses undermines the marriage, then the other is obliged to make every effort to preserve it.
But if reconciliation is still impossible, then you should separate peacefully, without aggravating the divorce with quarrels. Often in Islam talaq is called “untying the knot.” It is also prescribed to take care of children after divorce.
Seriousness and responsibility in Muslim family matters
It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah, may Allah be pleased with him, that the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said:
النِّكَاحُ، وَالطَّ لَاقُ، وَالرَّجْعَةُ
«Three things are valid whether they are done in earnest or not. This is marriage, divorce and the return of the wife after divorce
"(Abu Dawud 2194).
The same applies to anger. When giving talaq or returning your wife, you need to think everything through carefully and with a cool head.
.
When is divorce invalid in Islam?
Divorce in Islam is a complex process with several stages. Violation of the procedure may lead to the termination of the relationship being declared invalid.
There is a hadith that declares a divorce declared in a state of anger invalid. A similar point of view is shared by most Islamic theologians. However, the fact of a sudden outburst of anger is recognized only if the man has not previously thought about divorce, has not discussed or prepared for it.
Also, talaq is considered invalid if a man gave it in an inadequate state, in a clouded consciousness, during an epileptic attack. Divorce given under duress is not recognized.
Talaq without reason is considered a sin in Islam. Therefore, men often look for a formal reason to declare a divorce. It is usually associated with the wife's disobedience. She is given some absurd or impossible conditions, and after they are violated, talaq is declared. Divorce for fictitious reasons is invalid in Islam.
Is a wife responsible to her husband after a divorce?
After a divorce, a woman has no obligations to her ex-husband. She is free to live as she wants and look for new relationships. The only thing that can connect former spouses is their common children.
The ex-husband cannot prohibit a woman from remarrying, and visits are possible only with her consent. If a man begins to pursue his ex-wife, then she has the right to go to law enforcement agencies or to court.
A man is obliged to support his child until adulthood. At the same time, he has the right to decide whether to leave him with the woman or entrust his upbringing to other people.
Who can initiate a divorce?
Typically, divorces are initiated by husbands, but there are cases in which the wife has every right to ask to end the relationship.
A woman has the right to demand a divorce in exceptional cases
How do they get divorced in Islam, and who is the initiator in this case:
- A woman asks for a divorce. At the same time, she must say: “Now I am alone” or “I have separated from you.” The reason in this case may be poverty, the husband’s inability to fulfill his marital duty, or his unworthy behavior towards her.
- Voluntary and mutual dissolution of marriage, which Muslims call khulga. In this case, the spouses separate peacefully without any hostility.
- The initiator is a man. A common case in Islam, the cause of which is the wife’s infidelity, disobedience, lack of mutual understanding or dislike for the spouse.
If a divorce in Islam occurred at the initiative of the wife, then the husband can demand the wedding gift back. If the spouse wanted to separate, then he has no right to claim this.
Talaq takes a long time for Muslims
The opinion of theologians on the circumstances of divorce
Islamic theologians have a negative view of divorce, but believe that sometimes it is a necessary measure and the lesser of evils. In this case, it is better to carry out the talent as quickly as possible, while maintaining good relations between the spouses if possible.
Imam Bukhari, back in the 9th century, wrote about the sanity of spouses who decide to divorce. In his treatise, he devoted an entire chapter to the dissolution of a marriage in a state of rage or intense anger. The sage believed that such talaq was invalid. The theologian also believed that people who are in a state of insanity or intoxication cannot be held accountable for their actions.
The companion of the Prophet Ibn Abbas called the talaq, which was declared in a state of intoxication, insignificant. He believed that a person in such a state does not have reason and will.
Possible reasons for divorce
Divorce among Muslims without any reason is condemned and is contrary to their religion. There must be good reasons for such an extreme action, including:
- Presence of illness or good reason. This includes family ties between spouses discovered only after marriage. The reason for divorce is the presence of a sexually transmitted or mental illness in one of the spouses.
- Lack of money for food, clothing and other needs. According to Islamic rules, a man must provide for his family. If he fails to do this, the wife has the right to demand a divorce.
- Frequent absence of the husband or his disappearance. In this case, it is also permissible to ask for a divorce so that gossip and rumors do not start.
- Lack of mutual understanding, reproaches and constant quarrels. They may begin to offend each other verbally, but later move on to physical actions.
- Lack of intimacy. As a result of this, the young couple will not have a family at all. Such problems are not exposed, but are resolved in a narrow circle of relatives.
- Infidelity of one of the spouses. This is considered a sin and is not permissible in family relationships. It is in this case that talaq usually saves from further moral decline and condemnation by society.
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People of other religions hear little about how Muslims get divorced. And all because in Islam they highly respect family values and have a negative attitude towards divorce.
The divorce rate among Muslims is much lower than in other religions.
How the Muslim religion approaches the issue of divorce
Like most other religions, Islam adheres to traditional values. Therefore, he has a negative attitude towards divorce. However, he recognizes the right of spouses to make such a decision, but with serious reservations.
In this it differs decisively from the other two great monotheistic teachings of the Middle East: Judaism and Christianity.
In the New Testament there is no divorce at all; marriage bonds are considered indissoluble. Such uncompromisingness seems excessive because it requires almost unattainable moral perfection from people. When family relationships are destroyed, living together only brings suffering, which is better to stop.
In Judaism, the divorce procedure, on the contrary, is too simple. Among Jews, a husband can divorce his wife if he no longer likes her. It is enough to give her a special letter. Moreover, divorcing a “bad” wife is considered the husband’s responsibility. A woman cannot initiate a divorce. A Jewish wife has the right to ask the court to divorce her, but for this she must have very compelling reasons. A husband can leave his wife without even giving her a letter. In this case, she will be left without a husband and with an unclear status. Finding a new spouse will be extremely difficult for her.
We can say that on the issue of divorce, Islam, in comparison with Christianity and Judaism, has chosen the “golden mean”. The Muslim approach allows you to resolve acute contradictions in the family without taking matters to extremes. At the same time, he maintains restrictions and gives the spouses time and opportunity to change their minds. The Quran describes in detail the procedure for divorce.
Divorce in the Muslim world is a “safety guard” against sinful situations that people are forced to accept when they are unable to get what they want in the family. Talaq allows them to find new partners and get a chance for a happy family life.
The main reasons why Muslims decide to get divorced?
In Islam there is such a thing as mubaraah. In accordance with it, spouses can dissolve their marriage by mutual consent. This is the easiest way to get out of an official relationship.
Most often mubaraah is initiated for the following reasons:
- wrong choice of spouse;
- matchmaking (parental intervention);
- mutual failure to fulfill marital duties;
- not very good financial situation;
- lack of trusting relationships.
In this case, it is preferable that the husband and wife mutually make the appropriate decision. However, if desired, a man can divorce his wife without her consent.
At the same time, a woman, according to Muslim traditions, cannot do this.
Divorce in emergency and critical situations
In Islam, the right to divorce is in the hands of the man. It is believed that he is less emotional and is able to more objectively assess the consequences of this serious step. However, it can also be affected by critical or unusual situations.
Joked about divorce
Marriage is an important part of Islam, so jokes about divorce are, to put it mildly, not welcome. They are regarded as a disdain for the commandments of the Almighty, which is considered unacceptable in Islam. The rules of talaq are written in the Quran and Sunnah, so they deserve to be taken seriously. At the same time, a divorce, even announced as a joke, is considered valid.
Gave a divorce while intoxicated
Talaq while intoxicated is recognized as valid in Islam. It is believed that a person should be responsible for his own condition. In the Koran, drunk people are forbidden to even offer prayers, since in such a state people do not understand their essence. In relation to divorce, the reasons for intoxication are taken into account. If it is caused by prohibited substances, such as alcohol or drugs, then talaq is considered valid.
Forced divorce
A divorce declared against a person's will is considered invalid. This is what most Muslim theologians think. If talaq is made under the threat of violence, then it need not be carried out. Direct instructions on this matter can be found in the Koran.
Divorce given at death
If a divorce was given at the time of a serious illness, but the man was of sound memory and reason, then it is considered absolutely valid. This is an important point that affects issues of inheritance and the woman’s future legal status.
It happens that a man in serious condition gives a divorce to a woman in order to deprive her of inheritance rights. In this case, it may be declared invalid.
Divorce is allowed in Islam. Both spouses have this right, but it is usually the man who exercises it. Divorce is considered a last resort among Muslims; they resort to it if there is no way to save the marriage. Talaq is a complex procedure consisting of several stages. Divorce is recognized as legitimate only if they are completed in full and in good faith. Divorce without reason is considered a serious sin and an insult to God in Islam.
Presence of witnesses during divorce or return of wife
Allah says in the Qur'an:
فَإِذَا بَلَغْنَ أَجَلَهُنَّ فَأَمْسِكُوهُنَّ بِمَعْرُوفٍ أَوْ ف َارِقُوهُنَّ بِمَعْرُوفٍ وَأَشْهِدُواْ ذَوَىْ عَدْلٍ مِّنكُمْ وَأَ قِيمُواْ ٱلشَّهَٰدَةَ لِلَّهِ
“When the time limit set for them has expired, keep them with you justly or release them justly. Call two just men from among you as witnesses and [if you testify], then testify for the sake of Allah" (65:2)
The presence of witnesses in case of divorce or return of the wife is desirable and allows you to avoid unnecessary disputes and misunderstandings
.
There is a well-known asar from a companion, which conveys the impulse to invite witnesses at such moments.
عن عمران بن حصين -رضي الله عنهما- أنه سُئِلَ عن الرجل يُطلِّق امرأته، ثم يَقَعُ بها، ولم يُشْهِدْ على طلاقها، ولا على رَجْعَتِهَا، فقال: “ط َلَّقْتَ لِغَيْرِ سُنَّةٍ، وَرَاجَعْتَ لِغَيْرِ سُنَّةٍ، أَشْهِدْ "
It is narrated from Mutarrif ibn Abdullah that 'Imran ibn Husayn, may Allah be pleased with him and his father, was once asked about a man who divorced his wife, and then had sexual relations with her and did not take witnesses when he divorced her. , never returned it. He said:
“You gave a divorce not according to the Sunnah and returned your wife not according to the Sunnah. Take witnesses when you give a divorce and when you return it. And don’t do that again!”
(Abu Dawud 2186).
At the same time, there are no direct instructions from the prophet that the presence of witnesses is mandatory.
The Prophet ﷺ himself gave a divorce without witnesses, and also did not find out their presence when he heard that one of his companions had divorced.
Therefore, there is no doubt that even in their absence the talaq will be valid
.
