Child support for parental support: who, when and why pays it

Payment of child support for parental support: law vs morality?

The issue of children supporting elderly parents is quite specific from a moral point of view. Indeed, there are many cases where, for example, a mother, due to an excessive addiction to alcoholic beverages, did not give her offspring enough affection and attention even at a time when they especially needed it. Hence the myriad of complaints and grievances among children who have become adults, up to a complete reluctance to communicate with their careless “ancestors.” What can we say about caring for them or voluntarily maintaining them. It is no coincidence that on the pages of Internet forums there is a widespread opinion that it is not necessary to pay for the maintenance of alcoholic parents. However, this has nothing to do with reality, just like the fact that, for example, children must transfer a third of their earnings to support their parents. In a word, if everyone has their own conscience, then the law is the same for everyone - although, of course, it provides for certain subtleties and exceptions, which we will consider. But first, let’s formulate what the law means by alimony aimed at supporting disabled parents.

Alimony to parents: conditions for occurrence

The provisions of the Family Code, which address issues of maintenance and property support for family members, legitimize the rights of some and the responsibilities of others, but in themselves are not a sufficient basis for the implementation of legislative norms. For these rules to begin to be implemented, additional grounds will be required to confirm their legality. Only with a combination of objective factors can we talk about issuing alimony.

The law requires able-bodied adult children to support their disabled parents who need help.

Child support obligations towards parents may arise if special conditions are met:

family connection certified in the manner prescribed by law (Article 47 of the Family Code);
the coming of age of a son or daughter;
disability of parents, which is determined by age (60 years old - father, 55 years old - mother) or disability;
parents' needs - there are no exact criteria for determining need. They usually talk about the impossibility of ensuring a decent existence for themselves due to the lack of a pension, benefits or their low amount. The determination of need occurs in each specific case when it is considered in court.

If all these factors are present, the maintenance of parents is considered the responsibility of the child in the family according to the law of the Russian Federation. To make a decision on alimony, it does not matter whether the children have sufficient funds to pay it or not, but to determine the amount of alimony payments, this circumstance is taken into account.

Who, when and under what conditions can count on receiving parental support from children?

The obligation of able-bodied children who have reached the age of majority to pay child support in favor of their parents arises primarily when the parents are disabled. In addition, children are required by law to support their parents when their own earnings or pensions are not enough to provide them with normal living conditions. Thus, the concepts of alimony for the maintenance of elderly parents, retired parents or disabled parents are, in fact, synonymous.

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How to help if parents manipulate

A healthy relationship assumes that one gives birth to a child because one wants to have children. Parents have resources, and they are ready to spend them almost free of charge on a person who, sooner or later, will live his own life. In this theater they are more spectators than puppeteers.

But sometimes it happens differently. First, parents “kill their whole lives for their child,” and then they expect the same from him.

Dmitry Sobolev

Parents spent many years trying to raise their child. But adult children do not need permanent care; they go through life the way they want, and stop listening to mom and dad. And parents have formed certain behavioral models, habits, and a desire to participate in the fate of their children.

Some are humble, realizing that they gave birth and raised children so that they could live their own lives, and not be a “toy” for them. They easily let the child go free and accept that they are already participating in each other’s lives to a lesser extent than before.

Another category of parents cannot come to terms with their children growing up. Such mothers and fathers try to increase their own importance in the child’s life. They persistently tell him what to do. And when he does not use the recommendations, they are offended, blamed, shamed and manipulated.

But parents can also come from the other side: demonstrate their helplessness, ask for help over trifles. Someone demands help directly - again and again; someone creates situations so that children pay attention. This is how parents try to involve the child in their lives and maintain their social significance.

Some try to keep their children on a short leash at all costs. This is where legs grow, for example, stories of heart attacks every time the son gets ready to go on a date. After all, if he arranges his personal life, then his mother will cease to be the main woman for him.

It also happens that the parent is fully capable, can take care of himself and provide for himself financially. But he doesn’t want to do anything - why, if the child is obliged?

Anna Kislitsyna

This is the role of the victim: I will sit and suffer until you are consumed by guilt or shame and you come to save me. This relationship is toxic, and the adult parent chooses the role of the child based on some kind of traumatization. He is trying to compensate for his departed parents, does not know any other way of influence other than manipulation, and does not want to adapt to new living conditions.

Of course, this does not mean that such parents do not need help. Especially if they really need care. But, according to Dmitry Sobolev, in this case it is important for children to keep their eyes open. Only frameworks and boundaries built through reasonable, objective help and support will work here.

Dmitry Sobolev

You need to ask yourself the question: “Is my intervention really needed now?” The relationship model is unhealthy, there are distortions and breakdowns. There is a high risk that the child will become a servant. And at the same time, parents will feel absolutely good. They will have no idea that the situation is going wrong. But if we follow our parents’ lead, we make it worse for ourselves and for them. We are depriving them of their autonomy and by our actions we will accelerate the process of their aging.

In what situations do children have the right not to pay child support?

The law provides for a number of exceptions that allow children not to pay financial assistance to their needy parents. They can be relieved of the need to support their parents in the following cases:

The court found that the parents withdrew from fulfilling their parental responsibilities
Parents were previously deprived of parental rights
Parents are in the care of an organization or a citizen (citizens), for example, a parent has entered into an agreement providing for his lifelong support at the expense of this organization or citizen
Parents live free of charge in homes for the disabled and elderly or some other inpatient social service organizations

Legal relations between children and parents

In addition to the love and tender affection of parents for their children, there are legal relations between them, regulated by a number of normative documents: the Constitution of the Russian Federation, the Family Code, the Convention on the Rights of the Child.

According to Russian law, parental rights and responsibilities have some features:

priority right over other persons to raise their children;
equality of rights between mother and father in relation to the child, regardless of whether the marriage is registered or not, paternity is voluntarily recognized or in court;
respecting the priority of the rights and interests of the child, taking into account his opinion when resolving issues related to obtaining an education;
time limit (until age 18).

Failure to fulfill parental responsibilities or neglect of them can result in serious liability, including criminal penalties and deprivation of parental rights.

How to apply for child support for parental support?

Ideally, in order for parents to be able to receive regular financial assistance from their child, all that is required is a voluntary agreement that the children undertake to pay monthly alimony for the maintenance of their parents in one or another amount agreed upon by the parties.

“In order to conclude an alimony agreement, you need to contact a notary, since it must not only be drawn up in writing, but also notarized,” says Ekaterina Antonova. — In this case, the document must contain information about the amount of alimony for the maintenance of parents, as well as the terms, procedure and other conditions of these payments. In this case, the agreement must be signed by both parties. If at least one of the signatures or notarization is missing, this document may be declared invalid.”

To enter into an agreement, the parent and child must have their passports and the child’s birth certificate to prove their relationship. In addition, the child must present a certificate from his place of work, which will contain the amount of his earnings for the last three months of work.

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In what cases are parents held criminally responsible?

The Criminal Code of the Russian Federation provides for special rules on the criminal liability of parents:

for involving minor children in committing a crime through promises, deception, threats or in any other way;
for involving a minor in the systematic use of alcoholic beverages and intoxicating substances;
for involvement in prostitution, vagrancy or begging;
for failure to fulfill or improper fulfillment of responsibilities for raising children, if these acts are associated with cruel treatment;
for malicious evasion of payment of child support.

How to oblige children to pay child support through the court?

If the parents were unable to agree with their children on providing alimony for their maintenance, then the law provides for the collection of funds through the court. In this situation, the court determines both the degree of need for financial assistance and the amount of alimony for the maintenance of each individual parent in a fixed amount subject to monthly deductions. To do this, he correlates the income and general financial condition of the parent with the expenses that he requires to cover his needs - the purchase of food, clothing, medicines, payment of bills for housing and communal services, material rewards for caregivers and other needs - based on age , health status and other life circumstances.

When going to court, a parent must provide evidence of his need for financial support from his children, that is, the insufficiency of his own funds. This requirement is regulated by Article 56 of the Code of Civil Procedure of the Russian Federation. However, this does not mean that under any circumstances the plaintiff will be able to count on the maximum amount of financial assistance. After all, the court, in turn, is obliged to take into account the financial and marital status of the child: this requirement is set out in Part 3 of Art. 87 RF IC.

“In addition, the amount of payments is determined taking into account all of the plaintiff’s able-bodied children, regardless of whether a child support claim is brought against several children or one of them,” clarifies Ekaterina Antonova. “Other children may also be named as co-defendants in this case.”

In order to justify the required amount of alimony for monthly payments in a statement of claim for the recovery of a parent’s support, the parent must:

Provide the court with generalized information about your monthly income from all sources (pension, social benefits, earnings, etc.);
Indicate the amount of your monthly expenses;
Compare the amount of your monthly income with the cost of living in the region in which the plaintiff lives.

The decision to collect parental benefits from children is made by the magistrate no later than one month from the time the parent filed the claim. According to Art. 211 of the Code of Civil Procedure of the Russian Federation, the decision is subject to immediate execution.

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Article 87 of the RF IC. Responsibilities of adult children to support their parents (current version)

1. The basis for the emergence of alimony obligation in this case is the presence of the following legal facts: a properly established relationship between parents and children (if necessary, paternity can be established in court), disability and neediness of the parents.

The obligation not only to support parents, but also to take care of them, mentioned in the commented article, is essentially declarative. Nowhere in the legislation is the concept of care itself deciphered, and in this case we are talking about a moral rather than a legal category. At the same time, the court may take into account the degree of care of the children when determining the amount of alimony to be collected from each of the adult children.

As noted in the Resolution of the Presidium of the Supreme Court of the Russian Federation of December 18, 2002 N 187pv02pr, “the responsibility of adult children to support disabled parents cannot be associated with the presence or absence of a constant and sufficient income for the children.” This obligation (unlike, for example, the obligations of spouses to each other) is unconditional and is not associated by the legislator with the presence or absence of a citizen’s constant and sufficient income. That is, regardless of the financial and marital status of adult able-bodied children, parents have the right to receive from them the maintenance necessary to maintain life.

The court takes these circumstances into account when determining the amount of alimony, but the rights of the parents in this case should take precedence over the rights of the children, since it is assumed that able-bodied adults are able to earn a living, while the disabled and elderly are not.” Disabled and needy parents have the right to receive not only alimony, but also additional funds in the event of illness, injury, or infirmity of the parents.

2. Paragraph 2 of the commented article gives the right to able-bodied adult children to enter into an agreement determining the participation of each of them in the maintenance of disabled parents in need of help. Agreements on the payment of alimony for disabled parents in need of help can be concluded with each of the parents separately or with both of them together. If a disabled parent in need of assistance is incapacitated, the corresponding agreement is concluded on his behalf by his legal representative.

If such an agreement has not been reached, then alimony for disabled parents in need of help is recovered from able-bodied adult children in court.

3. As in other cases, when the amount of alimony is established in a fixed sum of money, when determining its amount, the court is obliged to take into account the sources of income of each of the parties, find out the presence of dependents, other persons to whom the alimony-obligated persons are obliged to provide maintenance, etc. In other words, he must clarify the financial and marital status of all participants in the legal relationship that has arisen.

The article under comment does not provide for any other methods of paying alimony other than paying a fixed sum of money each month.

4. Situations are possible when a claim for alimony can be brought against only one adult child, but the court has the right, but not the obligation, to take into account all able-bodied adult children of a given parent when making a decision.

5. In some cases, mentioned in paragraph 5 of the commented article, children may be released from the responsibility of supporting their disabled parents in need of help. In particular, this is possible if the court finds that the parents evaded parental responsibilities. Evasion of parents from fulfilling their responsibilities can be expressed in evasion of paying child support, failure to raise children or care for them, refusal to live together with a child without good reason, etc.

Exemption from the obligation to support their disabled parents in need of help can be considered as a special measure of responsibility (sanction), which is applied if the parents are at fault. This, in particular, is evidenced by the very term “evasion of parental responsibilities,” which presupposes the commission of certain deliberate actions.

Children are also exempt from such child support obligations if the parents have been deprived of parental rights (see commentary to Article 70). If parents who were deprived of parental rights were subsequently restored to parental rights, the children are not released from the obligation to support their parents.

Comment source:

“ARTICLE-BY-ARTICLE COMMENTARY TO THE FAMILY CODE OF THE RUSSIAN FEDERATION” UPDATED

S.P. Grishaev, 2017

Does the right to alimony apply to citizens living in other countries?

Article 118 of the RF IC indicates that if a citizen leaves for permanent residence in another state, then he is also entitled to voluntarily sign an agreement on the transfer of alimony with those family members whom he needs to support on the basis of the law.

“If an agreement is not reached, then, by analogy with the previous situation, the interested person has the right to come with an application to the court, demanding that the amount of alimony be established and its collection by transferring him a lump sum payment, providing one or another property as payment, or in some other way, provided for by law,” explains Ekaterina Antonova.

How to help parents to support and not harm

Help is often perceived as coming from a strong position: “If you need help, I will provide it on the terms I want.” And therefore, some children can, for example, forcibly declutter their parents’ apartment and throw out everything that seems unnecessary to them. Or force you to move and lose all social connections acquired at your usual place of residence.

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That is, adult children behave towards mom and dad like bad parents. They decide how it will supposedly be better for them, without being at all interested in their opinion. And if children have more resources, their actions can turn into violence. For example, this could be economic pressure: “I have the money for this, but you don’t. And if you don’t want to accept help in this form, then you won’t get any.”

But the parent is still a full-fledged, capable person. He has the right to live the life he wants, even if the child doesn’t like it. And help should not be a way of manipulation.

Tatyana Popova

Psychologist, Candidate of Psychological Sciences, Associate Professor of the Department of Psychotherapy and Psychological Counseling at the Moscow Institute of Psychoanalysis.

Help for parents should be built through communication. Talk and ask how they see support, what exactly they would like. Remember that first of all it is about love and attention, about care. Sometimes your parents' requests are just a signal that they are sad and want to see you. It can be difficult to admit that we miss someone, so we look for “good” reasons.

Be careful in your help. The circle of life is inexorable: first children need care, and then parents. This test is very difficult to pass, and for all participants. We are frightened by the old age and weakness of our parents. We are accustomed to the fact that they can always help and protect, but here we ourselves have to take responsibility for them. For parents, the issue of accepting their own weakness is also difficult. Realizing that you are becoming dependent on a child is very difficult.

According to psychologist Dmitry Sobolev, if healthy relationships are built between children and parents, there should be no problems. Parents let their children go, but at the same time they understand their role, their importance without constant confirmation. They realize that the child has his own life and this is wonderful. They understand that they can turn to him for help, and they do so. But at the same time, parents still have the desire to live their own lives. As a rule, such people work, interact with society, and have their own social circle. They are active, they have a lot of things to do.

Dmitry Sobolev

Family and personality psychologist.

If a child actively participates in the life of their parents and imposes help, they may get the impression that they are worthless and incompetent. This may offend them. Therefore, it is necessary to help upon request.

If it is not typical for parents to ask, it is worth explaining to them that they can turn to you for support. It is enough to do this once, and then observe in manual control mode. When children believe that their mother or father needs help, they can take the initiative and offer. And then the parents will decide whether to accept her or not.

It is important not to go too far, to give relatives autonomy, to preserve their legal capacity. By showering them with support, children begin to instill in them premature helplessness. And neither the children themselves nor the parents need this. How a person feels is how he lives.

Parents can be helped in a healthy interaction pattern by showing them that they themselves are important and meaningful to their children. You can ask them for advice, involve them in various family processes and affairs. This will help children more than a box of groceries.

But we are talking about healthy relationships. In them, the child makes efforts to make the parents' life easier because it makes him happy. This is another opportunity for him to spend time with his awesome mom and dad and get the positive feeling of being helpful. And parents, in turn, are happy to accept all possible help and attention, but do not make a tragedy if the children did not rush at the first call or solved the problem not personally, but with the involvement of specialists. But there are completely different patterns of relationships.

Child support for parents: judicial practice from an expert

In 2010, citizen B. exercised the legal right to file a claim in court against her adult son A. to collect 10 thousand rubles from him monthly for her maintenance. To substantiate her claims, the citizen indicated that she is not just his mother, but also a pensioner and a disabled person of group 2-1, and also suffers from various diseases and needs care and the purchase of medicines. At the same time, her only income is an old-age pension, and her son refuses to voluntarily help her. The defendant did not appear at the court hearing and did not admit the claims. At the same time, the magistrate refused to satisfy citizen B.’s claim.

Having checked the case materials and considered the arguments set out in the supervisory appeal, the supervisory court found the court decisions subject to cancellation on the following grounds:

the court did not take into account the provisions of the Constitution of the Russian Federation, which establish the unconditional and primary duty of adult able-bodied children to provide for their disabled parents in need. In addition, the financial situation and family circumstances of the children do not matter, since the transfer of alimony is within the scope of their constitutional responsibilities;
the court did not allow the parties to discuss the issue of the relationship between the plaintiff’s needs and her income: the fact that citizen B. has a pension and also enjoys periodic support from the state due to disability does not serve as a reason for refusing her alimony.

Taking into account the above, B.’s civil case was sent for a new trial with a different composition of judges. As a result, the claim for alimony was satisfied.

Alimony as monetary compensation for care

According to Russian law, father and mother are equally responsible for the upbringing, education and maintenance of children. Providing food, clothing and shoes, toys and household items, education and leisure - all this is associated with material costs.

In a complete family, as a rule, both spouses participate in the formation of the family budget, and in the event of a divorce, the parent with whom he remains usually has to support the child.

In order to maintain equality between spouses and protect the interests of the child, the law requires the second spouse to pay alimony. Alimony payments can be expressed both in cash and in kind.

However, funds collected from parents for the benefit of children are only a special case of alimony payments. The family legislation of the Russian Federation also defines other categories of citizens who need financial support and in whose favor maintenance funds can be collected. In some cases, parents of adult children may also fall into this category.