How to sue a child from a wife during a divorce and is it possible, what should the mother do in this case?

Grounds for transferring a minor to his father

Action List

Mom has no income due to unwillingness to work, being on maternity leave or for other reasons.

If the wife does not want to work, then this is confirmed by the following evidence:

Lack of registration with employment authorities. This fact proves that the spouse is not trying to look for income.
If the mother claims that she is working informally, she must indicate to the court the person who is her employer or confirm the movement of money through her bank accounts.
Witness's testimonies.

If a wife is caring for a young child and is on maternity leave, then a man who wants to take his son or daughter away from her should:

Point out to the court that the wife has no education or work experience. Thus, she will not be able to receive a high salary and provide her children with everything they need. In turn, the husband is obliged to confirm his level of income, which should be enough for both him and the children.
Point out to the court the fact that the wife does not have relatives or other close people who will help her and her children in financial difficulties. This situation may arise if the spouse has been an orphan since childhood.

Mom's income is below the subsistence level

The father needs to prove to the court the following:

Since the mother does not have enough money to meet her minimum needs, she will most likely take part of the alimony for her needs. Thus, children's rights to material support will be violated.
If the wife is negatively characterized by relatives, the child’s teachers and colleagues, then you need to collect written testimony from them.
Confirm that your own level of income is sufficient to provide for both yourself and the child (certificate 2-NDFL or tax return).

Parents have equal rights regarding children after divorce

The main regulations and court decisions that establish the rights and responsibilities of parents in relation to children and are fundamental when the court decides with whom to leave the children are:

Declaration of the Rights of the Child, November 20, 1959;
Family Code of the Russian Federation;
Civil Code of the Russian Federation;
Resolution of the Plenum of the Supreme Court of the Russian Federation of May 27, 1998;
Review of judicial practice in resolving disputes related to raising children, approved by the Supreme Court of the Russian Federation on July 20, 2011.

Domestic legislation is based on the legal equality of fathers and mothers both in terms of rights and obligations. There is some contradiction between domestic norms and the provisions of the Declaration of the Rights of the Child. The sixth principle of the Declaration states that a young child cannot be separated from his mother except in special circumstances. This to some extent determines the mother's rights advantage. The Russian Constitution provides for the priority of international law. But this clause does not have significant practical significance, since, firstly, the Declaration itself is based on the absolute protection of the interests of children regardless of any circumstances, and secondly, the state has long learned to circumvent the established principle. When making a decision about with whom to leave the child, the district court will be guided by Russian laws and common sense.

In case of divorce, the law recognizes parents as having equal rights to the child.

What rights are granted to both parents? The RF IC and the RF Civil Code guarantee equal rights to father and mother:

to raise a child;
for communication (if living separately);
to participate in their lives;
for the personal protection of children, representation of their rights and interests in all bodies and before any persons;
to receive all information about your children.

These rights do not depend on financial situation, place of residence, social status, relationship between father and mother and any other factors and can only be limited by a court decision (deprivation of parental rights). Now it is important for us to understand that the priority of maternal rights over paternal rights is just an established stereotype that cannot predetermine the judge’s decision. The predominance of single mothers over fathers who raise children on their own is quantitatively explained by both the greater activity of women in this matter (rare men are ready to take on such responsibility after a divorce) and the greater moral stability of the mother.

Single fathers are not uncommon among celebrities. True, the reasons for this are often tragic. Raising children without a mother:

Cristiano Ronaldo (son from a surrogate mother);
Ricky Martin (twin sons from a surrogate mother);
Eminem (in addition to his own daughter, left with his father after the divorce, he adopted his ex-wife’s daughter from another marriage and her niece, and is the guardian of his stepbrother);
Nicolas Cage (two sons from different mothers);
Jamie Foxx (two daughters, information about mothers is not disclosed);
Sergei Zverev (son, mother died in a car accident, but there is a version that the child was adopted);
Pierce Brosnan (adopted his wife’s son and daughter from a previous marriage, has a daughter, his wife died);
Konstantin Khabensky (son, wife died);
Dmitry Shepelev (son, wife Zhanna Friske died);
Philip Kirkorov (son and daughter from surrogate mothers).

Nicolas Cage is an example of a successful single father

Some statistics. For every 10 single mothers, there is approximately 1 father raising children on his own. According to data for 2021, 5.6 million mothers are raising children without a father and 634.5 thousand men have taken on this burden. Traditionally, this figure is slightly higher in the Caucasian regions (about two men take responsibility for raising the younger generation for every 10 women). In total, there are about 30% of single-parent families in Russia, which can be considered a relatively favorable result. In the USA this figure is 33%, in the UK 38%, in Sweden 54%. Iceland holds the record with 64%.

Where exactly should you file a claim?

Controversial issues regarding determining the place of residence of the offspring are always resolved with the mandatory participation of representatives of the guardianship and trusteeship authorities.

Often, psychiatrists and psychologists, as well as teachers, are brought in to clarify additional questions (their help may be necessary when they are interested in who exactly a minor wants to live with).

The specialist’s conversation can be conducted both in the courtroom and in a calm environment conducive to contact, without psychological pressure from dad/mom.

The decision of a child who is already 10 years old can be decisive when the court doubts which parent the child will be better off with.

But this does not mean that the decisions of a minor citizen (not always fully conscious) will be taken into account by the court.

In what cases does a child stay with his father during a divorce?

The simplest and most acceptable option for determining with whom the child will remain is an agreement between the parents. The agreement is a document signed by both parents or approved by the court upon divorce. The agreement may specify:

place of residence of minor children, which parent they will stay with;
the procedure for communication between a child and a parent living separately;
the procedure for paying funds for the maintenance of children and (or) a disabled, needy spouse;
the amount of funds paid;
division of the common property of the spouses.

If there is no agreement, the dispute is considered in court. Formally, the criteria by which the future place of residence of a child is determined when parents divorce are not defined. The resolution of this issue falls entirely within the competence of the court. It is possible to determine out-of-court who the children will stay with only with the mutual consent of the former spouses.

If the parents can agree on their own who the children will live with, there will be no need to resolve this issue in court

Can a father sue a child from his mother?

The courts take a comprehensive approach to the study of this issue, but the following main characteristics and conditions that dominate when making a decision can be identified:

the moral character of parents, their social behavior;
material and living conditions;
health status, age, physical characteristics of parents;
children's preferences and age.

Disputes about children are classified as complex cases. Having decided to go all the way and seek the right to raise a child, you need to enlist the help of an experienced family lawyer. The situation is further complicated by the fact that the majority of judges in Russia are women. Without questioning the professional level and competence of a female judge, one must not overlook the psychological, subconscious component. The possibility of tearing a child away from the mother, depriving her of the right to see and feel his presence every day and hourly causes natural rejection in a woman, no matter how objectively she wants to assess the situation. To successfully complete the process, the father must undergo extensive preparation, which may take several months.

At the same time, it should be remembered that under similar conditions, children will feel more comfortable with their mother. A child needs his mother's love to a greater extent than his father's. Mothers feel better about their children and have a closer psychological connection with them. Spiritual intimacy cannot be replaced by material support. It is clear that in most cases a man earns more, but a conscientious father will not limit himself to paying alimony and will provide other financial assistance. The main factor in resolving the issue of a child is the possibility of creating the most favorable conditions for the most complete and harmonious development of the growing personality.

Mothers usually have better emotional contact with children than fathers.

Moral character and social behavior of husband and wife

Moral character is understood as the totality of moral and psychological qualities of a person. Social behavior covers a person’s attitude to the surrounding world and society, interaction with other members of society and determines the attitude of society towards a person. The most banal requirements that a father applying for the role of a single father must meet are:

absence of harmful habits and addictions, primarily to alcohol and drugs;
developed communication skills, good relationships with relatives (including the wife), neighbors, and the work team;
high cultural level, compliance with hostel rules, decent appearance;
ability to behave in society, competent speech;
no criminal record, no cases of prosecution.

When preparing for litigation, it is necessary to stock up on good references from management, colleagues, and neighbors. The court and support from his wife's relatives will be favorably assessed. If the father took part in any public events, participated in the organization of elections, population census, or other state events, care should be taken to provide documentary evidence.

It is important to find witnesses who could give the best characterizations of the father

For your part, you need to identify in advance at least 3-4 people occupying a certain social position as witnesses. Witnesses must not only give a positive description of the father, but also point out the shortcomings of the mother, that is, they must be closely familiar with the family and the relationships existing in it. Guardianship and trusteeship authorities can provide assistance. This body participates in disputes about children not as a third party, but as a specialist authorized to give an opinion, or even as a party to the case. To do this, you need to establish contact with the service in advance, express concern about the relationships that have developed in the family and the position of the mother in raising the child.

On the other hand, it is necessary to focus the court's attention on the mother's shortcomings. Attachment to alcohol and drugs, immoral behavior, failure to comply with the rules of hygiene and child health, mental and physical aggression (if such facts are present) must receive documentary evidence - certificates from the hospital about beatings, results of inspections by law enforcement and children's authorities, characteristics of the class teacher, witness statements indications. Negative influence on the child from the mother, introducing him to bad and dangerous habits, creating an atmosphere of promiscuity and immorality will be considered as strong arguments in favor of the father. An effective technique would be to send the mother a registered letter with offers to keep the child and justify her position, but this should be done closer to the time of going to court in order to minimize possible countermeasures.

Video: a Muscovite tries to sue his son from his wife, who abused him

Is it possible to pick up a child if there is a criminal record?

Failure to meet each of the requirements individually, including the presence of a criminal record, is not an unambiguous basis for a negative decision by the judge, but taken together will give a negative characterization. The law does not prohibit raising a child with a criminal record. The decisive role will be played by the nature of the crime committed and how it will affect the future fate of the children. The court makes a decision based on the totality of arguments.

Living conditions and financial support of the child

The material component is of great importance. The father must show the ability to financially provide for the child’s needs and create the necessary living conditions. You should not get carried away and demonstrate that you are very busy at work, a wide range of professional responsibilities, indicate your position and career prospects - all this can be used against you. The father should have enough time to raise and communicate with his children. No nanny or grandmother can replace a child’s attachment to his parents.

The financial situation and ability to provide for the children's needs must be confirmed by relevant certificates, receipts for the purchase of goods for the child and other payments made by the father. It will be effective to confirm the positive dynamics in income and the presence of liquid property. Do not forget that property acquired during marriage belongs to the spouses in equal shares. If a car, a dacha, an apartment, etc. is registered in the father’s name, but all this was acquired during their life together, the wife has similar rights to such objects. To confirm your favorable financial situation, you should refer to the following circumstances:

stable official salary, significantly higher than the mother’s salary;
the presence of property acquired before marriage, received as an inheritance or as a gift;
the financial situation of their parents, their high stable income and expensive property;
presence of a sought-after profession, business reputation.

Maintaining children requires constant expenses, and it is important to show the court that it is the father who pays for them

The court will assess the situation in favor of the father if the mother does not work or is employed in a non-prestigious low-paid job (except for childcare), has a lower level of education and qualifications, receives a “gray” salary or is employed in the shadow economy. The advantage will be the proximity to the place of residence of the father of an educational or preschool institution, the development of infrastructure, and the prosperity of the area of residence.

State of health, age, physical characteristics of parents

Preference is given to younger and physically fit parents. For the court, it is necessary to stock up on certificates from psychoneurological and narcological clinics, confirm the absence of chronic diseases, and if they exist, prove the stability of the state of health and safety for the child. It will be positively appreciated if a parent plays sports with the child and takes care of his physical development. Psychological and mental data are of particular importance. If the mother is unbalanced, suffers from disorders, and is capable of aggressive behavior, these circumstances must be announced in court and confirmed with documents or testimony. The atmosphere in the family can best be characterized by close people - relatives on both sides, friends. When preparing for trial, you will need to secure their favor. Physical disabilities can also negatively impact a judge's opinion.

It is important that the child grows up in a healthy atmosphere, and playing sports will contribute to this

Is it possible to sue a young child from his mother?

The age of the children is one of the fundamental factors in resolving a dispute. A father has virtually no chance of keeping a child under 5–6 years of age, unless the mother has obvious contraindications. This is explained by the fact that at a young age, only the mother can fully ensure the development of children and give them the necessary love and care. Children are initially more disposed towards their mother and no matter how good the father is, they will be psychologically more comfortable with her.

Child's preferences

According to the law, from the age of ten, the child’s opinion about who he would like to stay with is taken into account. The child is questioned in court with the participation of a teacher, class teacher, and child psychologist. The courts prefer not to separate children. If there are several children in the family, the court will prefer to leave them with one parent, so as not to further sever brotherly and sisterly ties. The relationship with grandparents and their participation in upbringing is also important, especially when living together or when, after a divorce, the father is expected to live with his parents. The court will also evaluate the financial situation of the older generation, their age and state of health.

If a child lives well with his father, this will be an argument for the court

For what reasons may a father want to take his child into his care?

It has been proven that there are three reasons that push dads to decide to take a child from a parent:

Father's love . There are proactive fathers who madly love children and want to care for their child every day, directly participating in his upbringing.
Because of revenge . All fathers understand that a mother will experience truly intense suffering when her child is taken away from her. Often, it is precisely because of revenge that the father becomes the initiator of the fight for his offspring.
Child safety . If the parent behaves dissolutely, the father may express a desire to take the baby away, protecting him from negative influences.

Even if the offended father decided to take revenge on the mother for her leaving the family, these emotions should never be accompanied by a desire to break the child’s attachment to the mother.

If the father’s desire is explained by boundless love, care, as well as the desire to constantly take part in raising the child, you can go to court.

But you should be prepared in advance for the fact that the court will protect the interests of the child, and not the ambitions of the parents.

How to sue a child from your ex-wife

The decision to divorce is not made momentarily; problems mature over a long period of time. Often, a formal divorce is preceded by a long period of separation between the spouses and the actual termination of the relationship. If the father has firmly decided to fight for the child and is confident that he can create better conditions for him, or living with the mother will create a threat to the children, preparations for resolving the dispute should begin several months before filing a claim. During this time, you should collect the necessary documents, establish contact with kindergarten teachers or class teachers, and employees of the guardianship and trusteeship authorities. It is recommended to consult with a lawyer in advance, outline the entire situation and follow the recommendations based on your specific situation.

Minimum list of documents required to go to court:

2-NDFL certificate of average monthly income for the last six months;
a certificate from the registration authority about the availability of housing property, documents confirming the conclusion of a social tenancy agreement;
certificate from drug treatment and psychoneurological dispensaries;
characteristics from the current place of work;
act of inspection of housing by guardianship and trusteeship authorities;
certificate of no criminal record;
copies of children's birth certificates;
a copy of your own passport.

It is necessary to prepare as many possible documents and evidence for the court

The application provides all the arguments in favor of the required decision, indicating the need to call and question witnesses (such a petition can be filed later). Each circumstance must be supported by documents or called witnesses. The dispute is considered in the district (city) court through a claim procedure. The parent who intends to keep the child must be present at each meeting.

When will the child live with his father?

The Supreme Court determined the following circumstances to be assessed when making a decision:

one of the parents showing greater care and attention to the child; social behavior of parents;
the moral and psychological situation that has developed in the place of residence of each of the parents;
bringing the child’s parents to administrative or criminal liability, having a criminal record;
status registered in psychoneurological, narcological dispensaries;
climatic conditions of life of a child living with a parent, when parents live in different climatic zones;
the opportunity to receive medical care in a timely manner;
the presence or absence of parents of another family;
the child’s usual social circle (friends, caregivers, teachers);
the child’s attachment not only to parents, brothers and sisters, but also to grandparents living with them in the same family,
the proximity of the place of residence of relatives (grandparents, brothers, sisters, etc.), who can really help the parent;
the convenience of the location of educational institutions, sports clubs and additional education institutions that the child attends, and the possibility of each parent creating conditions for attending such additional classes;
the purpose of filing a claim (it must be designated as raising the child and creating the most favorable conditions for development).

Constant care for children, participation in their lives, joint activities and recreation are mandatory conditions for handing them over to their father for living

For a favorable court decision, each of the above points must be comprehended by the father and processed in a favorable light.

How can a man prepare for court?

In general terms, we will define the procedure for actions during the preparatory period before going to court:

spend as much time as possible with the child, attend public events, visit cinemas, childcare centers, drop off and pick up from clubs and sections;
purchase on your own behalf goods necessary for the child, pay for extracurricular activities, subscriptions;
avoid participating in events that involve drinking alcohol;
do not initiate family scandals, demonstrate readiness for peaceful resolution of conflicts, involve relatives in resolving disputes;
check the presence and pay of all existing administrative fines (often people even forget that they have traffic police fines), take a certificate of no criminal record;
Establish contact with the child’s environment - friends, educators, teachers, and take part in the activities of educational institutions.
come up with common interests and hobbies, preferably related to external communication;
help prepare lessons;
involve the child in communication with his relatives;
obtain characteristics from an educational institution, sports sections, clubs, additional education institutions, which should reflect the father’s activity in the child’s life (attends meetings, communicates with teachers, accompanies, etc.).

Naturally, all of these actions must be confirmed in court by the testimony of relatives and friends, documents (checks, receipts, contracts, etc.).

If you prepare well for the trial, he can side with the father and leave the child to him

On the other hand, it is necessary to prove that the child’s living with his mother is contraindicated, will negatively affect his mental state, and may pose a danger to physical health and development. In addition to the obvious circumstances, which will be almost clear grounds for the judge to make a decision in favor of the father (alcoholism, drug addiction, antisocial behavior, mental disorders, etc. in the absence of similar problems in the father), attention should be paid to the following aspects (if any) of behavior and wife's lifestyle:

frequently changes jobs, does not work for long periods;
visits cafes and restaurants without family, often takes part in corporate events related to alcohol consumption;
does not take part in the child’s life (does not participate in school life, does not appear in additional education institutions, at public events, etc.);
has a limited outlook and a narrow range of interests aimed at satisfying his own needs;
conflicts with colleagues, relatives and neighbors;
often goes on business trips for long periods of time and stays late at work;
does not provide home comfort, does not engage in activities typical of a wife and mother;
often leaves children unattended;
interferes with communication with the child, hides from the father.

Frequent business trips of the mother, delays at work and other circumstances as a result of which the child remains abandoned are considered by the court as one of the arguments in favor of handing over the child to the father

When speaking in court, you should not slide into a banal squabble with your spouse - any hysteria, screams and raised voices will be assessed by the court in favor of the opposite side. You must present your position consistently, giving reasons for each statement. You should not move on to accusations or reproaches - the presentation should be based on statements of facts, not emotions. When choosing a representative, you should be guided by the reviews of others and not trust advertising on the Internet and the media. A lawyer focused on results, and not on receiving a fee, will not start a legal dispute about children on the father’s side without thorough preliminary preparation - without obvious negative circumstances for the mother, it is not easy to win a case of this kind. When considering a dispute, it will be necessary to determine the order of communication with the child of the other parent. Going to court in such disputes is not subject to state duty.

Video: how to get a divorce and keep your children

What does the court pay attention to?

When determining the place of residence of a minor, the following points are taken into account:

Age and gender (children under 3 years old and girls are usually left with their mother, boys with their father).
The opinion of a child who has reached 10 years of age (if he is younger, then through a psychological examination by guardianship officials).
Moral qualities of every parent.
Attachment and relationships of a child with mom, dad and other family members (brothers, sisters).
The ability of each spouse to provide care and care for the child.
Housing quality and parental income.

In addition, the court may take into account the point of view of educators, teachers, psychologists and other independent specialists.

Arbitrage practice

In most cases, after parents divorce, children remain with their mothers, but this is a consequence of a voluntary agreement, and not the result of judicial practice. An analysis of court decisions on disputes about children provides the following statistics:

Mothers and fathers make demands for determination of place of residence in approximately equal proportions, with fathers twice as likely to make such demands as counter-claims (in response to demands for divorce or payment of alimony).
About a third of cases end in settlement agreements, dismissal of the claim, or the consideration is terminated due to the repeated failure of the plaintiff to appear.
About 60% of cases initiated at the request of the father end in his favor. If the plaintiff is the mother, the court satisfies her demands in 80% of cases. The court decides to separate children between parents in 1% of cases.

In the overwhelming majority of cases, the reason for the transfer of children to the father is the mother’s alcoholism and antisocial behavior, prolonged absence from work, and violence committed by her against the child. Disputes often arise between parents who both lead an antisocial lifestyle. In such cases, preference is given to the mother, but the discovery during the trial of circumstances that threaten the life and health of the child may lead to the initiation of proceedings to deprive the parents of their rights.

Video: the court decided to leave the daughter with her dad

Who will help if the foreigner husband took the child abroad?

In most cases, taking a child abroad by a foreign parent is problematic. This is due to the fact that in order to transport children across the border by one of the parents, you must have the written consent of the second or another permit.

If such consent was not given, and the child was taken abroad, it is necessary to contact law enforcement agencies with a corresponding statement, since such an act will no longer be considered from the point of view of separation of children, but as the illegal removal of a minor from the state.

When submitting a petition, it is necessary to accompany it with all supporting documents and other materials that will help representatives of the regulatory agency take action to resolve the issue within the framework of international cooperation.
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Evidence required to deprive a mother of parental rights

To consider the case, it is necessary to present evidence compromising the mother’s behavior and her relationship with the child:

A medical certificate from a psychoneurological dispensary about existing disorders, diagnosis, frequency of exacerbations, the need for treatment or periodic courses of treatment for the patient. The degree of risk for the child when living with the mother is indicated.
A medical certificate from a narcological clinic confirming the presence of chronic problems with alcohol-containing substances or a conclusion about drug addiction. If necessary, during the trial, a woman may be required to undergo tests to confirm or refute these indicators. The fact of deregistration or active monitoring of the patient must be indicated.
Documentation provided by the district police officer regarding unlawful actions against a minor child.
Testimony of witnesses - neighbors, kindergarten teachers, school teachers, health workers at the clinic about the inappropriate attitude of the mother towards the child.

When collecting evidence, it is very important to collect genuine evidence, information from witnesses, since if the father abuses false testimony, bribes witnesses or “material rewards” for judicial officials, the father faces punishment: a fine, the opening of a criminal case for fraud. In this case, the claim to deprive the mother of the rights to custody of the child will be rejected until the circumstances of the trial regarding fraud on the part of the father are clarified.

Procedure to take a child away from its mother through court

In order for the child to remain with you during a divorce, it will take a lot of time and resources. Please be patient and persevere as the legal process can drag on for months. To seize a child from a woman, the father must:

File a claim for divorce.
Include in the claim requirements to determine the place of residence of children. The claim can also include the collection of child support, or it can be filed as a separate claim.
Pay the state fee.
Carefully consider the arguments, draw up a line of defense, prepare all documents to support the claims, and enlist the support of witnesses.
Take personal part in court hearings.
Get the judge's decision.

If you want to end the legal process in your favor, you should take advantage of free online divorce consultation at every step of the procedure - from filing a claim to appealing a court decision.

How to behave when security guards are in the apartment

The main thing is not to panic, remain calm and confident, try to be friendly. If “uninvited guests” come to you, do not rush to open the door, it is not safe. First, clarify the full name, position and purpose of the representative’s visit. Now you need to make sure that it is you who have been assigned the test. Exact information can be found by phone. Only after confirming the information should visitors be allowed into the house.

If employees do not have the appropriate documentary authority (court decisions or an act of compulsory seizure), they do not have the authority to oblige you to obey. It's up to you, but refusal will make the situation worse when they return with the official paper.

What does guardianship pay attention to?

whether the apartment requires renovation or its availability;
cleanliness in the apartment;
appearance of family members;
availability of sleeping places for everyone in the house;
contents of the refrigerator (fresh food, hot dishes, baby food);
presence of domestic animals and insects;
there is an unpleasant odor in the room (mustiness, rotting, dampness, etc.);
physical and moral condition of children;
presence of signs of drinking alcohol or other harmful substances;
manner of communication between loved ones;
the need for hospitalization or medication (in case of illness).

Having visited the family in person, employees must make sure that the children living with you have the proper conditions and there is no risk to their life and health.