But do the courts always satisfy such claims?
As follows from the requirements of parts 1 and 2 of Article 87 of the Family Code of the Russian Federation, able-bodied adult children are obliged to support and care for their disabled parents in need of help.
In the absence of an agreement on the payment of alimony, alimony for disabled parents in need of help is recovered from able-bodied adult children in court.
There is an opinion that the collection of alimony, in principle, is an indisputable issue. Moreover, if the parents have not previously shied away from raising and supporting their children and have not been deprived of parental rights.
However, in practice, courts do not always satisfy such requirements. And here it is necessary to divide the plaintiffs into two groups - those who really need the help of “ungrateful” children and those who are trying to make money at the expense of others.
There are also pensioners who go to court not out of need, but by abusing their rights and taking advantage of bad relationships with their children, misleading the court in order to force their adult children to pay for their whims.
Let's look at an example from a recent dispute. S. appealed to the magistrate with a claim for the recovery of alimony for the maintenance of a disabled parent to her son B. In support of the stated demands, S. indicated that she is the recipient of an old-age pension in the amount of 17,000 rubles, pays utilities, needs to purchase medicines, pays off the loan. She also indicated that her son B. is a recipient of a military pension for long service, has no dependents, and can work taking into account his age and health condition.
Having examined the evidence presented by the parties, the court came to the conclusion that the stated demands were unfounded, despite the fact that the mother raised her son and fulfilled her parental responsibilities. The defendant presented evidence to the court, including court documents, that his mother, due to her greed, deprived him of his only home several years ago. As a result, the defendant was forced to rent an apartment, which entailed significant expenses for him. The additional funds that the plaintiff intended to recover from her son were required to pay off a consumer loan.
In this case, there was a clear abuse of law, that is, the exercise of civil rights solely with the intention of causing harm to another person. In addition, the court took into account that the plaintiff’s pension was more than twice the minimum subsistence level for pensioners in the region.
How to behave in court regarding the collection of alimony
A court is not a bazaar or a disco, so you need to behave accordingly there.
Of course, there are general standards of behavior accepted in a civilized society, they are also appropriate in court - neat, clean clothes, a minimum of makeup (no war paint), speech without swearing, etc. But there are some features in court that a woman needs to know about if she goes there to win the case and collect normal child support. And these features relate to behavior in court.
Every mother, when she decides to go to court and collect child support, is afraid of defeat. Do you think women go to court to get revenge on their exes? Not at all. Often the opposite is true - a woman can “mature” for years and mentally prepare to file a claim for alimony in court, because pride does not allow you to take this step earlier.
Many women think that it is shameful to ask a man for money to support a child. In fact, mothers don’t want to ask for anything, don’t want to beg for a handout, don’t want to sue. It’s just really hard for them to financially bear all the expenses for children without the support of their father. And the trial for them is a necessary measure.
For some reason, men often think completely differently; they claim that women are insidious creatures: first they give birth, and then after the divorce they only want to chop off a bigger piece and hang the burden of alimony on them. This is the attitude I often see in the child support cases I handle.
But let's immediately set the accents.
Every child has a mom and dad. Purely technically it cannot be otherwise - such is human nature. And if a child is born, then both parents bear responsibilities towards the child, and the law (Family Code of the Russian Federation) enshrines this principle.
I foresee that some of the offended men may object that he has nothing to do with it, that only the woman decides whether to give birth or not. But I beg to differ. Still, if a man does something that could result in children, he must understand that there may be consequences in the form of a child, and therefore must bear responsibility for these consequences and support the child equally with his mother.
So, a woman usually doesn’t want to go to court, she wants to resolve the issue of child support without going to court - and at least conclude an agreement on the payment of alimony, if it’s impossible without a document.
Therefore, usually a woman is not ready for court - even if she found a template text of a claim somewhere on the Internet and sent it to court, her morale is zero.
Because of this, I see women making mistakes.
Which ones exactly?
Let's tell you in order.
Mistake 1. Write a template claim, asking for too much.
Remember, if you spent all your time on your child during your marriage and now spend only 10 thousand rubles a month, and now you want to collect this entire amount from the child’s father, this is wrong. The principle of equal rights and responsibilities of parents will not allow the judge to violate the interests of the child’s father. Moreover, if a child has a level of security at which his monthly expenses amount to, for example, 50 thousand rubles per month, then you can safely ask to recover 25 thousand rubles - i.e. half.
Of course, there are exceptions to this general rule, but they are exceptions because they are very rare - for example, the child’s mother suddenly became disabled and cannot work. Then the court may, in the interests of the child, taking into account the financial situation of the parties (father and mother), assign all expenses to the father of the child. But I repeat - I have not seen such cases. This is just a theory.
Error 2. Not providing any evidence for all expenses for the child.
I already wrote about this in the article “What evidence is needed in court in cases of alimony.” In order to collect normal child support, you must prove that exactly this amount is really needed for his maintenance, and not less.
Mistake 3. Having a row with the child's father in court.
Forget everything you saw in the movies. In reality, if you want to achieve your goal, you don’t need to make a circus out of a court hearing. Believe me, judges are already too busy to patiently allow participants in the process to waste precious time on family squabbles and sorting out relationships.
Therefore, do not succumb to provocations and do not provoke scandals in court yourself.
What is the claim about? That's right, about collecting alimony. So state your position only regarding alimony. And there is no need to call the defendant names and remember all his family sins.
You can explain to the court everything related to expenses for the child, your financial situation, the state of health of you and your child, etc. You can ask the defendant questions about his financial situation - income and expenses, living conditions, property. You can reveal the hidden income of the defendant, ask the court for help in collecting evidence - file motions to obtain evidence and send requests. But you should not de-emphasize all these important aspects to such points as discussing the reasons for the divorce or the nuances of the child’s relationship with the father.
Remember, to resolve a child support dispute, circumstances such as infidelity or the details of your damaged relationship with the child’s father have absolutely no significance. The judge is not only uninterested in this, the judge is downright irritated by it.
Therefore, ask the defendant questions only on the merits of the case, give explanations to the court only those that will help in determining the amount of alimony.
Mistake 4. Playing “Yam.”
There is no need to put on a show and manipulate the fact that you have children and therefore you are the heroine, and the father is a worthless appendage. Let me remind you again about the principle of equality of rights and responsibilities. Of course, it’s hard for you both morally and financially. But you shouldn’t be hysterical about this in court, sob, scream - in general, inappropriate behavior will not help you win your case, but even vice versa.
Conduct yourself in court with dignity. Take the situation calmly. If you feel that your emotions have suddenly begun to overwhelm you, ask the court to take a break, drink some water, go outside, breathe deeply. Don’t talk too much, don’t chatter and scream.
If all this is already obvious to you, congratulations, you have a normal understanding of behavior in court. But remember one more detail. Even those people who have excellent self-control, speak well and are generally so self-confident, but have never been in court before, can get lost and behave inappropriately. I know at least a hundred such women - my clients, whose interests I represented in court on alimony.
Therefore, there is no need to have any illusions, you just need to prepare for the trial - draw up an action plan, a plan of questions for the defendant, prepare your answers to the defendant’s possible questions. Study your rights - what you can do in court and what you cannot do.
The status of a mother in itself does not give you any priority over the father of the child. Just because you gave birth to a child does not mean that you can ask the court for anything and the court will agree with you.
I noticed that if women are fully aware of their rights and are generally prepared for all aspects of the case, then they behave more calmly in court. Therefore, I always recommend spending a lot of time preparing for the case.
, collection and processing of evidence.
Do you think if you hire a lawyer/attorney, all these mistakes won't happen?
You are wrong. And that's why.
Firstly, you may have no luck with a lawyer. Unfortunately, this happens. Having a legal education does not guarantee that a person is super-ready for litigation in general and for a specific case in particular.
Secondly, even if you are in court together with a lawyer, this does not mean that you can make all of the above mistakes. You don't want to spoil your results, do you? Therefore, even if you decide to go to court with a lawyer, then everything that I said above is worth taking note in any case. Otherwise, you risk not getting the result you need.
But what if you don’t have money for a proper lawyer, but you’re scared to go to court alone?
Just get ready for business. I have written many articles that will help you prepare to defend your rights in a child support case and collect evidence.
For example, it will definitely be useful for you to know:
— How to receive child support from the father’s black or gray salary,
— How to collect alimony in the amount of the child’s subsistence level,
— How to identify hidden income from child support?
Apply the knowledge you have gained in practice, and you can take a friend or mother to court as a support group.
Take action and you will succeed!
Do you have any questions or need help collecting decent child support?
You can call me or email me.
