In our practice, it is not uncommon for men to come to the office, determined to change their lives, with only one problematic question: “I want to divorce my wife without nerves, but I have a child, what should I do?”
Often, the life together of once happily married spouses becomes a burden and they are faced with the question of divorce. It’s good when they make such a decision mutually and without mutual reproaches, but situations in which one of the spouses is not ready to legally break off the relationship are much more common. The matter becomes doubly complicated when the divorce is initiated by the husband and there is a joint minor child. The law in this case gives preference to protecting the interests of the wife and child first.
Having children greatly complicates and delays the divorce process, so be sure to contact our lawyers! ICPI “Planet of Law” will solve your turnkey problems quickly and efficiently. Call + 7 (495) 722-99-33.
Where can I divorce my wife if I have a child?
Divorce in the presence of children is carried out exclusively in court, with the exception of special cases when divorce is allowed through the registry office.
To obtain a divorce from your wife, you must contact:
- To the magistrate's court, if an agreement has been reached on the further residence and upbringing of the children;
- To the district court, if the issue of the children’s place of residence will be decided at the same time as the divorce.
A statement of claim submitted to a court of any instance must contain:
- Name of the court, parties and their addresses;
- Introductory part, which indicates the date of marriage; number of children and their dates of birth; position on children; circumstances that prevent living together;
- Arguments used by the plaintiff to justify the divorce and the future fate of the children;
- Request the court to dissolve the marriage and determine with whom the child will remain;
- Signature, date, list of documents attached to the claim.
Additionally: you can immediately file a demand for child support, but in practice we do not recommend doing this so as not to delay the divorce procedure.
The claim must be accompanied by:
- A copy of the claim for the defendant;
- Certificates: about marriage; about the birth of children;
- Certificates, characteristics and other documents that positively characterize the personality of the plaintiff or negatively characterize the personality of the defendant.
- Receipt for payment of the state fee in the amount of 600 rubles for divorce (clause 5, part 1, article 333.19 of the Tax Code of the Russian Federation).
Which court should I file for divorce in?
After the statement of claim is ready, it is necessary to determine which court to send it to. The application can be sent to:
- to the court at the place of registration of the defendant;
- to the court at the place of registration of the plaintiff (if he has a disability or small children).
How is the trial going?
5 days after the court receives the documents, a decision is made to accept the case for consideration. But if the judge finds errors in the documents, he will return the claim to the applicant for revision.
As practice shows, the most popular reason for a return is sending a copy of the marriage certificate. And for a divorce, you must provide the original.
If the documents are normal, the judge sets a date for the preliminary hearing. The date is selected within 2 weeks of consideration of the application. The court clerk will call the participants in the process and notify them of the date of the preliminary hearing.
On the appointed day, the parties must appear before the judge. If the plaintiff confirms his claims, then a date for the main hearing is set. In this case, the judge may request additional documents from the defendant. They depend on his position on the plaintiff’s demands.
On the day of the hearing, the judge considers not only the issue of divorce, but also additional requirements. Therefore, the trial may drag on. In practice, a dispute over divorce and division of property can last 6 or more months.
The final decision will be made when the judge decides on all the claims in the lawsuit.
Divorce from wife through registry office if there are children
The legislation does not give the husband the right to divorce through the registry office if he and his wife have common children, except in cases where the wife objectively cannot influence such a decision or when her opinion cannot be ascertained. Such cases include:
- Declaration of the wife as incompetent by a court decision;
- She is declared missing, which is also established by a court decision;
- Serving a real prison sentence of 3 years or more.
In this case, divorce through the registry office is possible even if there are children.
What to do if a man is a drunkard: quit or rehabilitate?
Living with an alcoholic is fraught with a lot of negative consequences. Not only do children constantly witness drinking bouts, but later in life they themselves may become addicted to drinking, because their alcoholic dad always did this.
The family budget suffers. Man is deteriorating. Normal family life in such conditions is impossible. On the other hand, if a person wants to quit drinking, but does not have enough willpower, it is worth fighting for.
There are many known cases where even the most bitter drunkard got rid of addiction. The main thing is to help in time, you should do what is possible and what is not.
Divorce from your wife if you have a child under one year old?
Are there any restrictions on divorcing a wife if the child is under 1 year old? - this question worries many men who “couldn’t cope” with family life after the birth of a child. Yes, there are such restrictions.
If the spouse does not agree with the divorce, is pregnant, or less than 1 year has passed since the birth of the child, the man has no right to insist on divorce without her consent!
In this case, the man’s position does not matter at all - he may not even agree with the fact of paternity of the child, but he can challenge this only in court. Since the process of challenging paternity is possible only after the birth of a child, and also takes quite a long time - often up to six months, most often the husband will have to wait until the child is 1 year old in order to gain the right to demand a divorce in court, regardless of the wife’s consent.
If the wife categorically disagrees, divorce from the wife if there is a child under one year old is impossible, as is expressly stated in Art. 17 RF IC.
Reasons for divorce after 30 years of marriage
07/14/2017 — 11:07, admin. 7390 0
Probably, today almost every inhabitant of the planet has relatives, friends, just acquaintances or friends who have taken this step - divorce after 30 years of marriage. What is there to be surprised about, we live in a time when everything is turned upside down. But is it worth stopping there?
Is it worth just humbly accepting the realities of this time, choking in statistics on divorce cases? Do we humans really have to take for granted everything that ruins our lives? Of course not. And I don’t say this “no” to those who have already divorced after 30 years of marriage, because you have already made this break in the relationship, and therefore have the right to now continue to live as you see fit.
But, by and large, in this article I will address those who are still on the verge of divorce, who are at a crossroads, so to speak. It is for you to consider two main reasons that happen to people. The reasons that push them to break off the relationship.
Why do people decide to divorce after 30 years of living together? What pushes the spouses to take this step?
For all those who are still agonizing over whether to divorce or not, it will be useful to find out the frequently repeated reasons that lead to divorce after so many years of living together.
Divorce from wife if there is a child with her consent
If your spouse is ready to give her consent to a divorce, then you are very lucky - one of the easiest ways to dissolve a marriage awaits you. It is enough to apply to the magistrates' court for divorce, but only if you have also reached an agreement with your wife about the place of residence of the children and your participation in their further upbringing and communication with them.
The consent of the spouse can be expressed both in the form of jointly signing an application for divorce or providing a notarized consent to the court (if it is impossible to take part in the court hearing), or by personally expressing their opinion in court.
If consent is obvious, the court will not provide a possible period for reconciliation and will divorce the spouses within 1 month from the date of filing the application.
Gray divorce: why do couples break up after 20 years of marriage?
Lately, I keep hearing about divorces of couples who have been married for more than 20 years. Why couldn’t they save the marriage and did they try to save it?
It would seem that the most difficult times are behind us, all the rough edges have been smoothed out, the material basis has been created, the children have grown up. Finally, you can relax, enjoy peace, live without haste and hysterics. Travel, visit theaters, restaurants, afford things you couldn’t do before. But for some reason this doesn't happen.
The problems that kept the spouses together for many years turned out to be a screen to cover up the growing alienation
. Throughout life, small cracks accumulated, one by one, but were ignored, masked by a heap of current worries and gradually turned into deep faults. Finally, they merged into a huge abyss, separating the spouses, leaving them on different sides.
A parallel life has begun
. Two different realities - his and hers. This is no longer a family, but a couple of loners who do not understand what binds them together. From being lovers for twenty years, living so close, they turned into almost strangers.
Such divorces are called “ Gray divorces.”
"(The Gray Divorce), apparently because of the gray hair that spouses acquire over time.
Can anything be done to prevent such an end? What are its reasons?
The main reason is ignoring weak signals
, which are expressed in reluctance:
hear and reach each other, share each other’s problems, pay attention to mutual requests, listen to each other about doubts, fears,
There is no romance left in the life of the spouses and even intimacy gradually disappears from the relationship. Communication is reduced, spouses hardly speak. Their conversations concern only children, finances and everyday problems. They thank each other less and less and no longer say kind words of love. Often spouses share their time not with each other, but with their computer.
Is it possible to save such a marriage? Very hard!
It is important during marriage to form a dream about a future together.
If there is no such image, then there will be nothing to implement.
You cannot ignore requests, allow distance from each other and the growth of your own realities.
Need to:
share problems, listen to each other, do not neglect emotional and intimate relationships, do something together: travel, walk, attend events, do not forget about kind words and gratitude, confess your love to each other more often, because it is the main thing on which it rests family.
But this is in theory. In practice it's more complicated
. Gray, as we know, has fifty shades.
An example of my neighbors.
They had one dream: to build a big house, plant a vegetable garden, raise chickens and geese. The house is beautiful, two-story with a huge balcony. But the garden withered away. Because the husband kicked out his old wife and brought in his young wife, who is now lounging on the balcony in a beautiful chaise lounge and reading a book. And the common dream did not help. That's how it happens.
If the wife does not give a divorce and there is a child together
If there is a disagreement about the children, even taking into account the wife’s consent to the divorce, the dispute will have to be heard in the district court.
Theoretically, it is possible to dissolve a marriage in a magistrate's court, provided that the spouses do not have a dispute about the children, but the wife does not agree with the dissolution of the marriage, but in practice such situations are practically impossible: the lack of consent to terminate the marriage automatically makes it impossible to agree on the position of the spouses regarding children in the future. The procedure for divorce in the absence of the wife's consent is described in detail here. Simultaneously with deciding the issue of ending the marriage, the court will decide the fate of the children, determining which parent they will remain with after the divorce, as well as in what order their communication with the parent who does not live with the children will take place. If there are several children, the court will also consider the prospect of separating the children, taking into account their attachment to each of the parents.
The court's decision on the issue of children takes into account the moral qualities of each spouse, their financial well-being and behavior in everyday life. Despite the obvious enhanced protection of the mother's interests, if the spouse leads an immoral lifestyle and does not plan to pay due attention to the development of the children, the court may leave the child (children) with the father.
Simultaneously with the divorce, the court collects alimony for the maintenance of the child (children) from the spouse who will not live with the child.
Algorithm for divorce through the magistrates' court
As already mentioned, you need to apply to the magistrate’s court for a divorce if the spouses have no additional requirements or there is a dispute about property not exceeding 50,000 rubles.
To file a divorce through the Magistrates' Court, you must:
- Prepare documents.
- Make a statement.
- Pay the state fee.
- Send documents to the court district.
- Attend the meeting.
- Get a court decision.
- Contact the registry office to register a divorce.
Divorce through the Magistrates' Court takes from 2 to 6 months, depending on the situation. To make the process take less time, spouses can:
- decide who the child will live with;
- determine how the other parent will communicate with him;
- enter into an agreement or verbally agree on how child support will be paid;
- it is possible to agree on alimony for one of the spouses;
- divide property through a prenuptial agreement or property division agreement.
Note! If the court decision states that the spouses have agreed on the child’s place of residence, alimony and division of property, this does not mean that they cannot then appeal to the district court on these issues.
What documents are needed for divorce through court?
The first stage of preparing for divorce is collecting documents. The applicant must prepare:
- passport - copy;
- marriage certificate - original;
- certificate of family composition - original;
- child’s birth certificate – copy;
- receipt for payment of state duty - original.
If the claim contains a requirement for division of property, then the following documents must be attached:
- documents on ownership of property - a copy;
- assessment report – original;
- additional documents depending on the type of property (PTS and STS - for a car, extract from the Unified State Register of Real Estate - for housing or land).
How to file an application for divorce in court
The statement of claim can be written by hand or printed. Wherein:
- there should be no errors or omissions;
- cannot be crossed out;
- you cannot use swear words;
- the content of the claim must be on the merits of the issue.
Don't make the claim too long. The optimal size is 2 sheets of A4 format.
Note! The divorce petition must indicate the reasons for the dissolution of the marriage. If the second spouse does not object, then it is better to indicate that they do not get along in character and it is not possible to save the family. But if the spouse is against divorce, it is better to briefly indicate the true reasons (uses drugs, abuses alcohol, uses physical violence).
Sample
A claim for divorce must include the following items:
- name and address of the court site;
- applicant details and telephone number;
- information about the second spouse and telephone number;
- document's name;
- information about marriage;
- reasons for termination;
- how the issue with children and property is resolved;
- reference to law;
- request for divorce;
- list of documents for the claim;
- date and signature.
How to file for divorce in court
Before you file documents in court for divorce, you must file the claim with the defendant. It is better to do this by registered mail. And the shipping receipt must be attached to the documents for the court.
You can send a letter through the post office or using the Electronic Registered Letter service from Russian Post. But you can use the service only if you have an account on the State Services portal. But the cost of sending will be only 62 rubles 70 kopecks.
So, you have sent a claim to the defendant, collected documents and a claim for court. First you need to determine which court to send the documents to.
The application is submitted to the court:
- at the place of permanent registration of the defendant or at the place of his last known place of residence;
- at your place of residence (if you have a small child or have a disability).
Now you need to send the documents to the court. There are several options for this:
- You can personally take the documents to the court office. In this case, you need to have your passport with you. Otherwise, the bailiff will not let you into the office. All copies of documents must indicate: The copy is correct. Last name, first name, patronymic, signature.
- You can send documents by registered mail. You need to put in the envelope: the claim, all the documents specified in the application, a receipt for payment of the state duty, a receipt for sending the claim to the defendant, a list of the attachments.
- You can file a claim electronically through the GAS Justice portal. But for this you need to obtain an electronic qualified signature.
How does a divorce proceed through the Magistrates' Court?
5 days after the court receives the documents, a date for the preliminary hearing will be set. The court secretary will notify you of the date and time in advance.
You must appear in court on the appointed day. At the preliminary hearing, the judge simply clarifies the opinion of the spouses and sets a date for the divorce hearing.
The judge will also ask you to write an application to consider the case in the absence of the spouses. If you write it, then you don’t need to come on the appointed day. The judge will divorce without your presence.
If both spouses come on the court day, the judge will find out the reasons for the divorce. If one of the spouses is against divorce, then the judge may give a period for reconciliation. It can last up to 3 months.
If only one of the spouses does not appear, and he did not submit an application for consideration in his absence, then the meeting will be postponed for 30 days. If he does not appear again, the judge will issue a divorce without taking into account his opinion.
How to divorce a wife with two children
There is no particular difference in the divorce procedure with one or two children, especially if the spouses have agreed on the fate of the minors.
If no agreement has been reached about who to leave the child with after the divorce, the court can “divide” the children, taking into account the demands of the plaintiff and the objections of the defendant, and also examined the children’s attachment to each parent and their need for care.
Practice: young children (under 14 years old) in 9 out of 10 cases remain with their mother, while the court may well leave a child of high school age, especially a boy, with his father.
Please note: if one of the two children has not reached one year of age, when divorcing a wife with two children, the rules of Art. 17 of the RF IC, which allows a woman not to give consent to a man’s divorce. In this case, divorce without her consent will be impossible until the child reaches 1 year of age.
Alimony in favor of wife
It is one thing when there is a divorce from a pregnant wife who is not working, or between the parents of a child who is not yet three years old. According to the law, divorce proceedings with a woman expecting the birth of a child or raising a child under one year old are possible only with the consent of the woman. After the child's first birthday, you can get a divorce, but until the child turns three years old, the father is obliged to support not only him, but also his ex-wife. The same decision will be made if the mother is raising a disabled child or is herself disabled.
The last point requires an extended answer. The assignment of alimony in favor of a disabled wife is quite possible if the marriage between husband and wife lasted more than five years, and the disability was not acquired by the citizen as a result of immoral behavior, alcoholism or drug addiction.
Rights of wife and child after divorce
The main right of a wife and child after a divorce is to receive child support from the man who left the family. Read more about the rules and procedure for collecting alimony here.
The second property right is the right to a 50% share of the property upon division, which can additionally be increased in favor of the child living with the mother.
In addition, the wife has the right to demand through the court the restriction of the father’s rights in terms of communication with the child, if such communication, in her opinion, will harm the upbringing of the child, which will be confirmed during the trial.
It should be understood that the basic rights in relation to the child after a divorce will be exercised by the parent with whom the court leaves the child. The second parent, by law, has all the same rights and responsibilities, but objectively will not be able to fulfill them fully since he does not live in the family permanently. The so-called “coming dad” is a priori in an unfavorable position.
What is the likelihood of a relationship breaking up after several years of marriage?
The reasons for breaking up a relationship can be very different.
Psychologists have repeatedly tried to understand what the main factors of this phenomenon are. An experiment was conducted at the University of Michigan (USA). Its goal: to collect the most significant reasons, as a result of which, after a short marriage, previously loving spouses began to lose interest in each other and experience hostility. Over 125 couples were interviewed. The list of questions implied answers to intimate and sensitive topics.
In total, the experiment continued for sixteen years (after seven years of marriage, again after nine years). The result was unexpected. Boredom came first. Lack of trust and a huge number of family conflicts are caused by this very feeling.
You can agree or disagree with this statement. Statistical data collected over many years of experimentation indicate that families have more mutual understanding and harmony if there is no boredom.
The likelihood of divorce in early marriage is very high. Lack of preparation for starting a family, expressed in the lack of desire to compromise and take into account the partner’s point of view, financial difficulties (most young families face them), disagreements in matters of raising a child often serve as a reason for a breakup.
Creating a strong family is work, responsibility for your future and your children.
Willingness to build family happiness and ensure financial independence. The idealization of a partner and the romanticism of relationships often fail completely after several years of living together. Something that you didn’t pay attention to before you started living together suddenly begins to irritate you. It turns out that the wife (husband) is far from ideal.
How can you take a child from your wife during a divorce?
A father has neither the right nor the opportunity to simply take a child after a divorce. To do this, the court must determine that the minor remains with his father.
Alas, the judicial practice of divorce cases in the presence of children is not at all favorable for fathers: 9 out of 10 disputes about young children are mainly resolved in favor of mothers. Older children (after 14 years of age) may be left with their father more often, since at this age the court gives greater preference to fathers, mainly due to the growing level of material needs of children.
The child’s desire to stay with his father may not be enough...
However, there are real chances of leaving a young child (under 14 years old) with his father in the following cases:
- the mother of the child abuses alcohol or drugs;
- failure to fulfill parental responsibilities, leading an immoral lifestyle;
- deprivation of parental rights (after divorce);
- extremely low material security compared to his father, precluding a normal life.
One, and even more so several of the reasons listed above, can be taken as a basis by the court when determining the place of residence of the child with the father.
Rights of a non-working mother upon divorce
According to the current Family Code, divorce if the mother does not work is no different from the divorce process of two employed spouses. A non-working wife’s fear of divorce is based on the misconception that her husband has the right to simply take her children away from her and literally leave her on the street, since she spent years of her family life staying at home.
Judicial practice suggests the opposite - even if a woman has never worked a day in her life, but has managed the household, raised her offspring and fully provided family comfort, then she can claim half of the property acquired since the wedding day. Likewise, divorce occurs if the husband does not work, but raises heirs and runs the house.
Therefore, no threats from men against their non-working wives to leave them without money, apartments or cars have any legal basis.
Much more than the problem with property, women are concerned with the question of how a divorce works if the mother does not work, and who gets the children in this case. Almost always, Russian courts give preference to mothers, leaving children in their care. However, if the kids are beyond toddler age (they are three years old), and the mother with whom they remain is unemployed, then the court may look at the matter differently - how will the woman support her offspring, where will they live, and so on.
Some unemployed women rely on alimony received from the father for their children, but this is not enough, because a woman is just as obligated to support her son or daughter as a man.
Can they get divorced if the child is under 3 years old?
Very often marriages break up before they have time to grow stronger. And children suffer the most. Usually the court takes the mother's side, regardless of the reasons that led to this outcome. For example, if the baby is less than one year old, the spouses will be divorced only with the consent of the wife.
Reference! If the child is 1-3 years old, divorce is possible, but there are some specific obligations: until the child reaches 3 years of age, the mother is on maternity leave, she cannot work, and all expenses for maintaining her and the baby are borne by the child’s father. According to Art. 89 of the RF IC, from the period of pregnancy until the child is 3 years old, the mother has the right to alimony not only for the child, but also for herself.
If the father does not want to pay alimony, the order, amount and method of calculation are determined by the court. To calculate the payment amount, it is necessary to provide evidence of the mother’s lack of income. If the spouse who must pay alimony has no income and no job, the judge may assign a fixed amount equal to the minimum cost of living in the region.
If the spouses have decided on the future of the child on their own, then an agreement is concluded to confirm payments. The contract is valid if notarized.
